KHR! Fic: Birthday Present
Title: Birthday Present
Author:![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
way2dawn
Characters/Pairings: TYL Tsuna + Guardians. You can view it as either 2759, or as friendship.
Rating: PG13 for language.
Summary: In which Juudaime is saved from his own birthday present, and then makes a decision.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta,myth. This fic starts Ten Years Later, just before the Future Arc.
Birthday Present
“More presents for the birthday boy!” Baseball Idiot’s father yells. “Takeshi! Come help me with these!”
“Coming, Pops!” Baseball Idiot calls back, then grins at Juudaime. “You really have a lot of admirers, Tsuna.”
“I don’t know about that…” Juudaime says, looking embarrassed. “And I’m in my twenties, you know. I’d really rather not be called a ‘birthday boy’.”
“I think it sounds cute, Tsu-kun,” Kyoko-san says. Juudaime still looks embarrassed. “Are you going to open your presents now?”
“At this rate,” Juudaime answers, “I’m not sure if more will be coming later.”
“You could do the cake-cutting next,” Gokudera suggests.
“Mmm, in a little bit,” Juudaime answers. “People are still talking.” There are actually quite a good number of people in the sushi shop, at present. Baseball Idiot’s father closed it so Juudaime could have his birthday party in peace, and they’ve all taken today as a momentary reprieve from the tensions that have been building between the Vongola and other, rival families. A lot of Juudaime’s friends and family are out of town at the moment – partly because of those tensions – but the ones present seem to be having a good time, at least. This is a good thing, Gokudera thinks, because yesterday was thoroughly depressing for everyone.
“Here are the presents,” Baseball Idiot says, returning with his father as they place the packages on one of the nearby tables. Two of them seem to be normal-sized, one with a bouquet of some type of flowers attached, but the other is nearly three feet tall. Baseball Idiot points as he describes the presents in more detail. “The big one is from Longchamp, the little one is from Mochida-sempai, and the note on the other one is in Italian.”
“Maybe you could read the note for us, Gokudera-kun?” Gokudera nods at Juudaime, then takes the note from the present Baseball Idiot pointed to, which is the one with the flowers.
His blood freezes when he realizes the flowers are chrysanthemums, exactly ten of them, with the petals a deep shade of crimson.
“…Gokudera-kun?” Gokudera coughs to calm himself down, then smiles.
“Of course I’ll read the note, Juudaime,” he says. “A very happy birthday to the illustrious Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo,” Gokudera translates as he reads, “from your friends in Italy. We are more impressed by you every day, and hope you enjoy the present we picked out especially for you. Sorry we couldn’t make it to the party, but you remain in our thoughts.” He frowns, staring at the chrysanthemums with a growing sense of anger.
“Is that really what the note says?” Juudaime asks, looking slightly confused. “Did they not put their name?”
“Sounds like it’s a secret admirer,” Baseball Idiot laughs.
“I think the flowers are overdoing it a bit, though...” Juudaime comments. Gokudera presses his lips in a fine line and picks up the package and attached flowers. “Gokudera-kun, are you alright?” Gokudera blinks, and plasters a smile on his face.
“Of course, Juudaime,” he answers. “Let me just go get a vase for these flowers.” Juudaime nods, after a beat, but he still looks unsure.
“You’re taking the present as well?”
“I’ll just be a minute or two,” Gokudera says, still smiling, and then walks off - flowers, present, and all.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is someone sending Juudaime chrysanthemums? At first, Gokudera just prepares to throw the flowers in the dumpster out back, but then he stops and takes a second look at the present. He sniffs at it, double-checks the weight and balance, and then ducks in to the sushi shop’s back storeroom. He places the package on the table there gingerly, drags a nearby chair to the table, then starts carefully opening one of the flaps. If he can just see the inside…
He gasps softly, then curses under his breath. It’s exactly as he thought. He takes a small pocketknife out from his suit jacket, and works at unwrapping and disassembling the item within.
“…Gokudera-kun?” For a few horrifying seconds, Gokudera doesn’t move a muscle from the chair in which he’s sitting.
“Juudaime,” he responds, part of his brain still terrified but his voice calm, “please go back to your party.” He continues fiddling with the package on the desk in front of him.
“What are you doing in the storage closet with my birthday present?” Juudaime closes the door behind himself.
“Juudaime, you need to leave.” Gokudera wills himself to keep his hands from shaking during his task.
“What’s going on here?” Juudaime asks again, voice now carrying definite hints of suspicion, as he walks closer to Gokudera. “Why are you so nervous?”
“Juudaime, please, you can’t stay here, it’s not-” but Gokudera cuts himself off before too much more of the strain creeps through his voice.
“Gokudera-kun.” There’s no room in that tone of voice for argument, and Gokudera struggles to keep his emotions in check.
“…There’s a bomb in your birthday present,” Gokudera answers, the strain in his voice still audible. His hands are still busy. “I’m trying to defuse it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? We should be evacuating people right now.” Gokudera keeps fiddling.
“There wasn’t enough time. People would panic.” Juudaime walks back towards the door. “The enemy would want you to panic.” Juudaime jiggles the door. “This area is too populated to just dump it, given my estimated size of the explosion it would cause.” Today was supposed to be the one day for them to relax, spend time with family and friends. Juudaime jiggles the door again.
“It’s locked,” Juudaime says. Again, Gokudera focuses on the package to keep himself as calm as possible. “I could still melt it open, fly the present somewhere.”
“Disturbing the equilibrium or subjecting it to heat would just cause it to go off sooner,” Gokudera responds. “As things are now, I still have a little more time to work.”
“It’s on a timer?” Juudaime asks, walking closer to where Gokudera’s working again. “When’s it supposed to go off? And how did you know it was a bomb?”
“I knew it was suspicious the moment I set eyes on it,” Gokudera keeps working as he explains, “but I didn’t realize it might be a bomb until I went to throw it away.” He doesn’t reveal how much time is left just yet. “It was the bouquet of flowers attached to the package that gave it away.”
“The chrysanthemums?”
“They’re a positive symbol in Japan, so you thought someone was praising you, but in Italy, they’re…” a bead of sweat drips down Gokudera’s temple as he continues untangling wires, “…in Italy, they symbolize death.” Juudaime is silent. “The people who sent this weren’t just trying to attack you, Juudaime; they also wanted to take out everyone you were with, and they were making fun of you for being Japanese.”
“Do you know who sent it?” Juudaime asks, but both he and Gokudera already know the answer.
“Who would send you flowers,” Gokudera replies, “and try to kill you at the same time?”
“…Millefiore. Byakuran.”
“Yes.”
“How much time do we have left?” Gokudera pauses for a moment, swallowing.
“…Four and a half minutes.” Juudaime places a hand on Gokudera’s shoulder.
“We’ll be fine.” Gokudera blinks, wipes the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his suit, and gets back to work.
“You shouldn’t stand so close to it, Juudaime,” he says. “Even if I can stop the whole thing going off, there’s still a chance-”
“We’ll be fine,” Juudaime repeats, hand still resting on Gokudera’s shoulder.
“Yes, Juudaime.” Gokudera can’t tell if the minutes are going by too quickly or too slowly. No matter their actual speed, though, there comes the final, decisive point. “This is the last part,” Gokudera says softly. He doesn’t explain that an error here would make all his prior work moot, and perhaps he doesn’t need to. “If there’s anything you want to say…”
“…then I’ll say it tonight,” Juudaime finishes, squeezing Gokudera’s shoulder, “after we get back to the base.”
“Right.” In a way, Juudaime has said something just now. With a deep breath, Gokudera disconnects the last piece. There’s a soft beep, then silence. Gokudera gives a little laugh, then sighs in relief.
“…Gokudera-kun?”
“It’s fine, it’s…” Gokudera looks up at Juudaime’s face. He’s still a little worried. “It’s not going to go off.” Juudaime smiles. Much better.
“Thank you,” Juudaime says, then holds the hand not on Gokudera’s shoulder up before Gokudera has a chance to protest. “I mean it. You were the only one who could have both noticed the flowers and defused the bomb.”
“…It’s still a bad idea to melt the door open,” Gokudera replies instead, as if he’d meant to say that all along. “The bomb won’t go off, but the components still need to be disposed of safely.”
“I wouldn’t want to have to explain to Yamamoto’s dad why the door to his storeroom is melted, either, if I don’t have to,” Juudaime says. Gokudera blinks.
“Is the party still going on?” he asks.
“Probably. It’s been less than ten minutes.” Juudaime points to a clock on the wall of the storeroom. Gokudera had been so preoccupied with the bomb that he hadn’t noticed. “We cut it a little close, huh?”
“You were keeping track of the time?” Gokudera asks, and gets ready to apologize.
“Not as much near the end.” Juudaime is still smiling, so Gokudera gives another soft laugh of relief. For some reason, he’s suddenly exhausted. “Tired?”
“It’s going to take more than flowers and a bomb to get the best of me,” he responds, still managing to smile back. It’s only the thought of what could have happened that exhausts him, but Juudaime is alright, so Gokudera tries to stay positive. Juudaime turns serious again, however, and so Gokudera frowns in response. “What is it?”
“This shouldn’t have happened,” Juudaime says. “You’re always telling me I need to be more careful, but I thought at least today would be safe. I didn’t think they would go after me at a birthday party.” He turns to look at the storeroom door again, the hand slipping from Gokudera’s shoulder curling in a loose fist as he walks halfway to the door. "The girls are here. The kids are here."
"Juudaime..." Gokudera stands up, but doesn't walk over to Juudaime because he isn't sure what to say.
"We need to have a meeting at the base tonight," Juudaime says, abrupt.
"Yes." Gokudera can show his support better there.
"The people here right now are me, you, Yamamoto, and-" Juudaime stops himself from saying the name he hasn't mentioned since the radiation casualties, then continues, "-and your sister, and Fuuta, and I'll talk to Hibari-san personally afterwards, since he won't go to the meeting."
"You could invite Kusakabe in his stead."
"No, I need to talk to Hibari-san in person." Juudaime is still facing the door, so Gokudera can't see his expression. "And then we need to arrange a meeting with the Millefiore."
"Juudaime, that's not safe," Gokudera protests immediately. Juudaime turns around, determination in his eyes.
"I know you think it's a bad idea," Juudaime responds, "which is one of the reasons I haven't mentioned it to you lately, but I'm not going to sit around while Byakuran keeps sending exploding birthday presents into populated areas just to get at me." Gokudera sets his mouth in a firm line, but Juudaime keeps talking. "They have representatives in Japan."
"They have a whole base in Japan," Gokudera corrects.
"I know, and that's even more reason to meet with them," Juudaime continues. "We can't just keep doing what we've always done because things will just keep going down this path." He frowns more deeply. "We've become too set in our ways. We can't keep playing by the same rules, because we can't win like that. We need to do something different." He pauses, takes a few breaths. "I feel so old, Gokudera-kun."
"Juudaime, I don't know what you're trying to say." Gokudera walks up to him, and Juudaime slouches, resting his forehead against Gokudera's chest.
"I'm sorry," Juudaime sighs. "I know it seems like I'm not making much sense right now. I just don't want anyone else to get hurt." Gokudera wraps a tentative arm around him, and Juudaime relaxes further.
"...You should worry about your own safety as well," Gokudera chides gently. Juudaime will still make the final decision about that Millefiore meeting, but Gokudera will be damned if he doesn't try talking Juudaime out of it again.
"But you worry about me enough for the both of us," Juudaime says, a smile starting to appear in the tone of his voice once again. Juudaime looks up, and sure enough, the smile is there. For a moment, he looks apologetic again, but then the smile quickly overtakes it. "It'll be fine. Just…” he starts to raise a hand to Gokudera’s face, “…just remember that, okay?" The knob on the door jiggles. Gokudera steps back and moves closer to the table, swallowing again.
"Tsuna? Are you in there?" It's the Baseball Idiot.
"We got locked in," Juudaime says, in his usual harried tone of voice. Gokudera moves to gather up the bomb, and on second thought, grabs the flowers as well. It's both impressive and worrisome how quickly Juudaime can change his tone from their earlier conversation.
"Haha, how did that happen?" Baseball Idiot opens the storeroom door and walks in.
"Gokudera-kun was getting a vase for the flowers," Juudaime explained, "and then I went looking for him, and then we got locked in." Gokudera walks back from the table to the other two. Baseball Idiot looks down at the package, puzzled.
"You opened the present early?" he asks, then looks to Juudaime. "Why are there so many wires?"
"That's because it was a bomb," Juudaime says, as if a bomb was the same kind of present as a badly-knitted sweater from an elderly aunt. Baseball Idiot's smile vanishes. "Gokudera-kun defused it, though."
"It won't go off," Gokudera adds, "but I'll need to dispose of it properly once we get back to the base."
"Any idea who sent it?" Baseball Idiot asks, though the question is mostly a formality.
"Byakuran," Juudaime says, calmly. "We'll have a meeting about it later tonight, but right now, I want to get back to the party." Baseball Idiot nods, then smiles again.
"Did you still want a vase for the flowers, Tsuna?"
"We should just dump them," Gokudera says, looking at them distastefully.
"I don't really mind what you do with them either way," Juudaime says, "but I'm going to cut the cake next, so you two should be there for pictures."
"Alright," Baseball Idiot says.
"Of course," Gokudera says. Juudaime smiles once, nods, and then goes back to the party. Baseball Idiot's own smile vanishes again.
"The dumpster is out back," he tells Gokudera curtly. "You can stash the package upstairs in my old room."
"Thanks." Gokudera tosses the flowers, places the defused bomb delicately on the bed in Baseball Idiot's room, and gets back to the party. The cake cutting - as well as the opening of the other, non-explosive presents - goes off without a hitch.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once they get back to the base, there is a meeting about the bomb and the Millefiore. Gokudera does not manage to talk Juudaime out of arranging a meeting with a Millefiore representative captain.
“Juudaime, please reconsider!” Juudaime keeps walking in the direction of the hatch leading to Hibari’s own private base, and Gokudera follows him.
“Hibari-san will arrange a neutral area for the meeting. I’ll be quite safe.”
“Do you think a ‘neutral area’ will stop the Millefiore from planning something?” Gokudera knows that once Juudaime talks to Hibari, the discussion will be over for real. “They didn’t care about blowing up the sushi shop!” Juudaime pauses.
“That’s exactly why this meeting needs to happen,” Juudaime says. “I’ve considered the options. This is the best choice.”
“But Juudaime…” Gokudera reaches out a hand to turn Juudaime around. The worst part of this argument is that Juudaime won’t look at him when he talks about this meeting.
“Please don’t argue with me about this anymore, Gokudera-kun.” Gokudera drops his hand. Juudaime turns around, expression grave. “I’m sorry that I can’t make you understand this, but… it’s for the best. It really is.” This time, he does touch a hand to Gokudera’s cheek. “Please believe me.” Gokudera is terrified. Absolutely, completely terrified. But Juudaime is Juudaime.
“…Alright,” he concedes. “Go talk to Hibari.” Juudaime smiles again.
“Everything will be fine,” Juudaime says, and then continues on his walk to Hibari’s base.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Aneki and Fuuta leave immediately the next morning, to gather intelligence. A week later, the base receives a transmission from CEDEF; Juudaime sends Baseball Idiot to track down their representative. A few days after that, Hibari vanishes, and the only reason Kusakabe will give them is Mukuro. Gokudera curses to himself in Italian for a good ten minutes because now he’s the only guardian – the only person with real firepower besides Juudaime, really – at the base for Juudaime’s meeting with Irie.
“Do I really want to know what you’re actually saying?” Gokudera stops pacing to look at the person who’s entered the room.
“J-Juudaime.” Gokudera’s immediate thought is that no, Juudaime does not need to know that Gokudera’s mouth is even rougher in Italian than it is in Japanese. He coughs and tries to collect himself. “My apologies, Juudaime. None of that was directed at you.” Most of it was directed at Hibari and the Pineapple Bastard, but Juudaime doesn’t need to know that, either.
“Glad to hear it,” Juudaime responds, looking amused. “Are you alright?”
“…Yes,” Gokudera says, although he’s thoroughly worried about tomorrow’s meeting. Juudaime just keeps looking at him. “…No,” Gokudera amends, starting to pace again. “There should be more people here. We should be launching an offensive, not playing tea party. I don’t know why Hibari’s chasing after that cazzo di merda ananasso-”
“Gokudera-kun.” The disapproval is heavy in Juudaime’s voice.
“…My apologies, Juudaime.” Gokudera coughs again, stops pacing once more, and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m just concerned about how this will affect your meeting tomorrow.”
“Hibari-san wasn’t going to attend the meeting anyway,” Juudaime reminds him. "None of the Guardians are allowed to attend, remember?" That's another thing about the upcoming meeting Gokudera dislikes. The only people there will be Juudaime, Irie, and a few relatively unimportant subordinates to act as witnesses. Gokudera should be there. “He was just helping arrange things. You really don’t need to get so worked up. It’s bad for your health.”
“Is everything set up properly?” Gokudera asks. “Are you sure Hibari didn’t forget anything? And the location has been checked out thoroughly?”
“Yes, yes, and yes,” Juudaime answers, sighing.
“I wish you’d at least take your gloves with you. There’s still time to get a special pocket sewn in your suit. Millefiore won’t even know it’s there.”
“This is supposed to be a meeting to give us some breathing room, remember?” Juudaime says. “There aren’t going to be any weapons there, and that includes my gloves.” He sighs again. “Please stop pacing; it’s making me dizzy.” Gokudera hadn’t realized that he’d started again, so he stops and walks up to Juudaime. “Thank you.” Juudaime is frowning. “In fact, I…” he reaches in his pocket and takes out the gloves, in current mitten-form, “…I want you to hold on to these for me.”
“Juudaime, I couldn’t possibly-” Juudaime steps closer, takes Gokudera’s hand, and puts the mittens in his hand. The rest of the protest dies on Gokudera’s lips.
“Just for the meeting, alright?” he smiles. “That way I won’t be tempted, and Millefiore won’t have an excuse to get upset if they’ve found I brought them.” It makes too much sense for Gokudera to argue, and Juudaime probably knows this. Juudaime closes Gokudera’s hand over the mittens. “You can give them back to me after, once it’s over, okay?”
“…Alright.” Juudaime keeps smiling, and Gokudera places the mittens in the inside breast pocket of his coat. Intellectually, he knows that they’ll remain mittens until placed over Juudaime’s hands, but it still feels like they’re burning through his pocket. “You should get some rest,” Gokudera says. “You need to be at your best, for tomorrow.” Juudaime nods, expression serious again.
“You should go to sleep, too,” he says. “You’ve been staying up late too often, lately.” Now his frown is almost a pout, which is strangely reassuring; things have been too stressful for Juudaime to be able to afford to pout. “All the planning anyone could possibly do has already been done. I’m allowed to worry about you, too.” This is so nostalgic that Gokudera can’t help but smile. “Tomorrow’s going to be a long day, so…” Juudaime sighs again, then smiles one last time. He still looks a little sad, somehow, but Juudaime is trying so hard to stop Gokudera from worrying that Gokudera can’t help but feel better despite himself. “Everything will be fine, really. I should get to bed.” Juudaime turns halfway back to the door, though Gokudera can tell he’s stalling a bit. “…Goodnight, Gokudera-kun.”
“Goodnight, Juudaime.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And then the sky falls.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gokudera doesn’t know how many days it’s been since then. He hasn’t slept. He’s barely eaten, and only then to quiet his stomach from growling. He’s been replacing the flowers every day. Yamamoto was able to get a message through yesterday, saying that he hadn’t been able to contact the CEDEF liaison in person, but that he’d be returning to Namimori anyway, since he also has to make arrangements for his father. Hibari and Dokuro’s – and by extension, Mukuro’s – whereabouts are still unknown. Lambo and I-Pin are tracking down the girls. They haven’t been able to contact anyone in Italy.
He tried pretending that Juudaime is just asleep, that he's having some long, wonderful dream to make up for the waking nightmare of the current world, but it didn’t work. He doesn’t understand how someone with a hole in his forehead can look so peaceful. When he’s in these woods, everything else just turns fuzzy. He can’t tell how much time passes, when he’s in that clearing, the place he’s walking right now.
He can’t forget the feeling of seeing Juudaime, after the meeting’s abrupt end. They’d gotten a message from Irie of the Millefiore saying that he had half an hour to collect Juudaime, and after that, the truce would be over and the entirety of Vongola would be destroyed, down to the last man, woman, and child. Gokudera got there in six minutes. It was about seven minutes too late. Irie sent the message after he’d already done it, as he and his subordinates were slinking away. There wasn’t time for anything else, and Gokudera wouldn’t let anyone else touch Juudaime once he got there, so he just dragged Juudaime back to the closest entrance of the base. Most of the Vongola in and around Namimori scattered, or went into hiding. It was probably pure luck that Millefiore didn’t discover the base’s location, that day. Gokudera doesn’t remember much of what happened immediately after that, though Giannini said he was the one who cleaned Juudaime up and dressed him in his best suit.
The thing that replays itself in Gokudera’s mind the most is Juudaime telling him that everything would be fine. He said it so many times, smiling and not smiling. He seemed so sure about it, and Gokudera just doesn’t understand it.
Once Yamamoto gets here, Gokudera will discuss things with him, and they’ll figure out more arrangements. They’ll find a long-term solution for Juudaime that’s not so out in the open, and the other guardians will meet up with them as soon as they can, and they’ll get rid of Irie, and they’ll figure out what to do about the rest of the Millefiore after that. And then… and then…
There’s someone there, in the woods. He’s not alone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Five minutes. Five minutes is all he has been given. It is not enough. It will never be enough. But there are things that still need to be done. His personal wishes are secondary.
He is not prepared, but he says what needs to be said, in regards to Irie and Byakuran. If there’s a way to rectify his mistakes, a way for the young Juudaime to save himself, it will be there. Everything goes by too quickly. He cannot bring himself to answer the young Juudaime’s last question, and then he runs out of time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gokudera’s the first one to meet back up with Juudaime, after Irie releases them from the machine. Baseball Idiot isn’t far behind, of course, but Gokudera gets there first because he knows Juudaime’s exact location better than anyone else. The arcobalenos gave them all a general idea of what happened while they were in the machine, but Gokudera still needs to see Juudaime with his own eyes. He still can’t help but stop at the edge of the clearing, holding a hand up to a tree to steady himself, watching Juudaime looking down on his own coffin.
“Juudaime…” Juudaime turns around calmly. He must have heard Gokudera approach.
“Gokudera-kun.” Gokudera just keeps staring. “Are you going to chew me out?” He’s smiling.
“Juudaime, I…” He reaches for the inside pocket of his jacket, but pauses when Juudaime holds a hand up.
“Later tonight,” Juudaime says, gaze flicking to a point somewhere behind Gokudera. Gokudera nods in understanding and puts his hand back down at his side. “I’d understand if you yelled a bit now, though.”
“We’re not gonna yell,” Baseball Idiot says, walking up to the two of them, smiling easily. “That was quite the practical joke you pulled on everyone, though.” Juudaime laughs, though it’s slightly subdued.
“I guess you could call it that,” he hedges. Baseball Idiot walks up to Juudaime and hooks his arm around Juudaime’s shoulders.
“You can make it up by helping Gokudera and I set up the party tonight,” Baseball Idiot says. Gokudera scoffs, but finds a small smile creeping up his own face as well.
“I wasn’t aware we were hosting a party, Baseball Idiot.” Baseball Idiot pulls Juudaime back to the edge of the clearing, back towards the others. Gokudera falls in step, Baseball Idiot removes his arm from Juudaime’s neck, and the three of them continue walking.
“Of course there’s going to be a party. We’ve got everyone together again, don’t we?”
“That’s right,” Juudaime says. He sighs, but when Gokudera looks at Juudaime’s face, he looks happy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The party at the base goes well enough. Gokudera teams up with Kyoko-san to stop Lawn Head from crushing Juudaime in a well-meaning hug, and in return Juudaime makes sure Gokudera stays away from the stove. Lambo eats more food than he prepares. Haru and Dokuro make sure there are enough pillows on chairs for all the arcobalenos attending to be able to reach the table. Fuuta makes sure Aneki stays away from the stove as well. Hibari doesn’t attend. Most of them are tired by the time the party’s over, but Juudaime at least says he considers it a success. Afterwards, Lawn Head, Kyoko-san, and Haru leave to go see their families, and Baseball Idiot follows soon after. Giannini insists on doing the cleanup and shoos everyone else away for the night. Gokudera lingers near Juudaime’s side, even after everyone else has gone to their respective rooms.
“I suppose you want to talk,” Juudaime says. Gokudera nods. “We’ll go in here.” Juudaime leads him into one of the meeting rooms. It’s not a room they use that often, as it’s more a lounge than anything else, but there are a few comfortable couches there, and Juudaime sits down on one of them. Gokudera sit next to Juudaime, facing him, and reaches into the pocket of his suit. He pulls out the mittens and places them silently, somberly, back into Juudaime’s open palm. “Thank you.”
“Juudaime, I…” Gokudera is still looking down at Juudaime’s hand, and it’s suddenly a struggle to speak. He watches Juudaime’s hand put the mittens back in his own suit pocket. “I thought… we all thought…” He can’t finish the sentence.
“I know,” Juudaime answers, calm and a bit somber himself. “I’m sorry, but… I couldn’t think of another way for us to win.”
“How long did you have things planned out with Hibari and Irie beforehand?”
“A few months.” Gokudera looks back up at Juudaime’s face. That long?
“You purposely sent everyone away.” It’s not a question.
“It had to be kept secret. It wouldn’t have been believable if people had known. I wanted to keep our losses to a minimum during Millefiore’s initial retaliation. I had to give our past selves as much time and resources as possible.” Juudaime is still calm. He’s known for a while, Gokudera realizes, what kind of questions would be asked afterwards.
“I was the only one here when it happened,” Gokudera says. It’s not an accusation, but a reminder of the truth they’re both aware of.
“It was a little cruel of me,” Juudaime is wearing a sad smile, “to do that to you when you didn’t know, wasn’t it?” Gokudera remains silent; he doesn’t agree, but he doesn’t necessarily disagree, either. “I’m sorry for that, and I know it must have been hard for you, but there was no other way.”
“You said everything would be fine,” Gokudera starts. “I just…” It’s just that I realized there were still so many things I never got to say to you. I thought I wouldn’t have regrets like that, that we’d already said what we wanted to say, but I didn’t know that there were so many other things I never said. I thought you were gone, and I just can’t stand the thought of having to haul your body off the floor, or seeing you in some coffin in the woods, or knowing I won’t hear your voice again, or see you smile, when the only thing I want is-
“Oh, Gokudera-kun, I’m sorry,” Juudaime says, moving closer and wrapping his arms around Gokudera, rubbing a hand up and down Gokudera’s back. Gokudera doesn’t know when he started sobbing. “I’m sorry, I really am.” Gokudera curls his fingers into the font of Juudaime’s best suit. “Shh.” It still smells like flowers. “Please forgive me.”
“Of c-course,” Gokudera answers, still crying. Juudaime is Juudaime, after all. Juudaime sighs, and keeps rubbing Gokudera’s back. “Just please-” he inhales sharply, “-don’t do that again.”
“Mmm,” Juudaime says. Somehow, he already knows everything Gokudera hasn’t said out loud just now, which Gokudera has learned over the years to stop questioning. “But it’s okay now, it really is.” After another minute or two, Gokudera calms himself down, and Juudaime gently detaches his arms from around Gokudera. When Gokudera wipes his eyes dry to look at Juudaime, the look Juudaime returns him is part exasperation, part somberness, and part endearment. “You should get some rest; you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“No,” Gokudera agrees, “I haven’t.” The exasperation and endearment seem to be winning.
“Alright,” Juudaime smiles, “up you get.” He gets off the couch, and Gokudera follows suit. “I think Giannini-san said wings E and F were still stable. There are a good number of rooms there.” He keeps talking as they exit the lounge and head towards the bedrooms. “You really need to take better care of yourself. Where would I be if you just passed out from exhaustion one day, or gave yourself the flu, or an ulcer? I would have to actually do the paperwork, instead of just handing it off to you; you know how bad I am at those kinds of things. And I’ve been meaning to tell you, you really need to try and quit smoking again. Onii-san tells me he’s been lecturing you about the health hazards, and you’ve just been brushing him off, but he really has a point…” Maybe everything really is fine. Gokudera supposes that it’ll take a while for everything to sink in, but Juudaime really is walking beside him right now. The war with Millefiore is over, too, thanks to everyone from the past. It’s highly unlikely that they’ll ever find themselves in such a terrible situation again anytime soon, or at least as long as Juudaime is still in charge of Vongola.
“You’re completely correct,” Gokudera says.
“Were you even listening to what I was saying?” Juudaime asks. He looks a little confused. Pleased, but confused.
“You’re right,” Gokudera explains, “I’ll quit smoking, for real this time. And we’ll make repairs to the base, and finish the rest of the construction. We’ll have a good opportunity to strengthen our alliances, since word of our victory will be getting out quickly. We also need to start teaching you more Italian; you can’t always rely on others speaking Japanese. We need to think in the long-term. I’ll start writing up some strategies, starting tomorrow. They’ll just be rough drafts, of course, but you can tell me what you think of them, and I’ll make adjustments and corrections accordingly.” Juudaime laughs.
“That sounds good,” he says. “Long-term is good.” Juudaime stops in front of one of the bedrooms. “You can tell me more about it all tomorrow, alright?” He takes Gokudera’s hand and squeezes it once.
“Of course,” Gokudera says, smiling confidently and squeezing back tentatively.
“Goodnight, Gokudera-kun,” Juudaime half-smiles, half-laughs, then lets his hand drop back to his side.
“Goodnight, Juudaime.” Juudaime goes into his room, and Gokudera continues walking towards the one next to it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tell me what you think~
Author:
way2dawnCharacters/Pairings: TYL Tsuna + Guardians. You can view it as either 2759, or as friendship.
Rating: PG13 for language.
Summary: In which Juudaime is saved from his own birthday present, and then makes a decision.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta,
myth. This fic starts Ten Years Later, just before the Future Arc.Birthday Present
“More presents for the birthday boy!” Baseball Idiot’s father yells. “Takeshi! Come help me with these!”
“Coming, Pops!” Baseball Idiot calls back, then grins at Juudaime. “You really have a lot of admirers, Tsuna.”
“I don’t know about that…” Juudaime says, looking embarrassed. “And I’m in my twenties, you know. I’d really rather not be called a ‘birthday boy’.”
“I think it sounds cute, Tsu-kun,” Kyoko-san says. Juudaime still looks embarrassed. “Are you going to open your presents now?”
“At this rate,” Juudaime answers, “I’m not sure if more will be coming later.”
“You could do the cake-cutting next,” Gokudera suggests.
“Mmm, in a little bit,” Juudaime answers. “People are still talking.” There are actually quite a good number of people in the sushi shop, at present. Baseball Idiot’s father closed it so Juudaime could have his birthday party in peace, and they’ve all taken today as a momentary reprieve from the tensions that have been building between the Vongola and other, rival families. A lot of Juudaime’s friends and family are out of town at the moment – partly because of those tensions – but the ones present seem to be having a good time, at least. This is a good thing, Gokudera thinks, because yesterday was thoroughly depressing for everyone.
“Here are the presents,” Baseball Idiot says, returning with his father as they place the packages on one of the nearby tables. Two of them seem to be normal-sized, one with a bouquet of some type of flowers attached, but the other is nearly three feet tall. Baseball Idiot points as he describes the presents in more detail. “The big one is from Longchamp, the little one is from Mochida-sempai, and the note on the other one is in Italian.”
“Maybe you could read the note for us, Gokudera-kun?” Gokudera nods at Juudaime, then takes the note from the present Baseball Idiot pointed to, which is the one with the flowers.
His blood freezes when he realizes the flowers are chrysanthemums, exactly ten of them, with the petals a deep shade of crimson.
“…Gokudera-kun?” Gokudera coughs to calm himself down, then smiles.
“Of course I’ll read the note, Juudaime,” he says. “A very happy birthday to the illustrious Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo,” Gokudera translates as he reads, “from your friends in Italy. We are more impressed by you every day, and hope you enjoy the present we picked out especially for you. Sorry we couldn’t make it to the party, but you remain in our thoughts.” He frowns, staring at the chrysanthemums with a growing sense of anger.
“Is that really what the note says?” Juudaime asks, looking slightly confused. “Did they not put their name?”
“Sounds like it’s a secret admirer,” Baseball Idiot laughs.
“I think the flowers are overdoing it a bit, though...” Juudaime comments. Gokudera presses his lips in a fine line and picks up the package and attached flowers. “Gokudera-kun, are you alright?” Gokudera blinks, and plasters a smile on his face.
“Of course, Juudaime,” he answers. “Let me just go get a vase for these flowers.” Juudaime nods, after a beat, but he still looks unsure.
“You’re taking the present as well?”
“I’ll just be a minute or two,” Gokudera says, still smiling, and then walks off - flowers, present, and all.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is someone sending Juudaime chrysanthemums? At first, Gokudera just prepares to throw the flowers in the dumpster out back, but then he stops and takes a second look at the present. He sniffs at it, double-checks the weight and balance, and then ducks in to the sushi shop’s back storeroom. He places the package on the table there gingerly, drags a nearby chair to the table, then starts carefully opening one of the flaps. If he can just see the inside…
He gasps softly, then curses under his breath. It’s exactly as he thought. He takes a small pocketknife out from his suit jacket, and works at unwrapping and disassembling the item within.
“…Gokudera-kun?” For a few horrifying seconds, Gokudera doesn’t move a muscle from the chair in which he’s sitting.
“Juudaime,” he responds, part of his brain still terrified but his voice calm, “please go back to your party.” He continues fiddling with the package on the desk in front of him.
“What are you doing in the storage closet with my birthday present?” Juudaime closes the door behind himself.
“Juudaime, you need to leave.” Gokudera wills himself to keep his hands from shaking during his task.
“What’s going on here?” Juudaime asks again, voice now carrying definite hints of suspicion, as he walks closer to Gokudera. “Why are you so nervous?”
“Juudaime, please, you can’t stay here, it’s not-” but Gokudera cuts himself off before too much more of the strain creeps through his voice.
“Gokudera-kun.” There’s no room in that tone of voice for argument, and Gokudera struggles to keep his emotions in check.
“…There’s a bomb in your birthday present,” Gokudera answers, the strain in his voice still audible. His hands are still busy. “I’m trying to defuse it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? We should be evacuating people right now.” Gokudera keeps fiddling.
“There wasn’t enough time. People would panic.” Juudaime walks back towards the door. “The enemy would want you to panic.” Juudaime jiggles the door. “This area is too populated to just dump it, given my estimated size of the explosion it would cause.” Today was supposed to be the one day for them to relax, spend time with family and friends. Juudaime jiggles the door again.
“It’s locked,” Juudaime says. Again, Gokudera focuses on the package to keep himself as calm as possible. “I could still melt it open, fly the present somewhere.”
“Disturbing the equilibrium or subjecting it to heat would just cause it to go off sooner,” Gokudera responds. “As things are now, I still have a little more time to work.”
“It’s on a timer?” Juudaime asks, walking closer to where Gokudera’s working again. “When’s it supposed to go off? And how did you know it was a bomb?”
“I knew it was suspicious the moment I set eyes on it,” Gokudera keeps working as he explains, “but I didn’t realize it might be a bomb until I went to throw it away.” He doesn’t reveal how much time is left just yet. “It was the bouquet of flowers attached to the package that gave it away.”
“The chrysanthemums?”
“They’re a positive symbol in Japan, so you thought someone was praising you, but in Italy, they’re…” a bead of sweat drips down Gokudera’s temple as he continues untangling wires, “…in Italy, they symbolize death.” Juudaime is silent. “The people who sent this weren’t just trying to attack you, Juudaime; they also wanted to take out everyone you were with, and they were making fun of you for being Japanese.”
“Do you know who sent it?” Juudaime asks, but both he and Gokudera already know the answer.
“Who would send you flowers,” Gokudera replies, “and try to kill you at the same time?”
“…Millefiore. Byakuran.”
“Yes.”
“How much time do we have left?” Gokudera pauses for a moment, swallowing.
“…Four and a half minutes.” Juudaime places a hand on Gokudera’s shoulder.
“We’ll be fine.” Gokudera blinks, wipes the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his suit, and gets back to work.
“You shouldn’t stand so close to it, Juudaime,” he says. “Even if I can stop the whole thing going off, there’s still a chance-”
“We’ll be fine,” Juudaime repeats, hand still resting on Gokudera’s shoulder.
“Yes, Juudaime.” Gokudera can’t tell if the minutes are going by too quickly or too slowly. No matter their actual speed, though, there comes the final, decisive point. “This is the last part,” Gokudera says softly. He doesn’t explain that an error here would make all his prior work moot, and perhaps he doesn’t need to. “If there’s anything you want to say…”
“…then I’ll say it tonight,” Juudaime finishes, squeezing Gokudera’s shoulder, “after we get back to the base.”
“Right.” In a way, Juudaime has said something just now. With a deep breath, Gokudera disconnects the last piece. There’s a soft beep, then silence. Gokudera gives a little laugh, then sighs in relief.
“…Gokudera-kun?”
“It’s fine, it’s…” Gokudera looks up at Juudaime’s face. He’s still a little worried. “It’s not going to go off.” Juudaime smiles. Much better.
“Thank you,” Juudaime says, then holds the hand not on Gokudera’s shoulder up before Gokudera has a chance to protest. “I mean it. You were the only one who could have both noticed the flowers and defused the bomb.”
“…It’s still a bad idea to melt the door open,” Gokudera replies instead, as if he’d meant to say that all along. “The bomb won’t go off, but the components still need to be disposed of safely.”
“I wouldn’t want to have to explain to Yamamoto’s dad why the door to his storeroom is melted, either, if I don’t have to,” Juudaime says. Gokudera blinks.
“Is the party still going on?” he asks.
“Probably. It’s been less than ten minutes.” Juudaime points to a clock on the wall of the storeroom. Gokudera had been so preoccupied with the bomb that he hadn’t noticed. “We cut it a little close, huh?”
“You were keeping track of the time?” Gokudera asks, and gets ready to apologize.
“Not as much near the end.” Juudaime is still smiling, so Gokudera gives another soft laugh of relief. For some reason, he’s suddenly exhausted. “Tired?”
“It’s going to take more than flowers and a bomb to get the best of me,” he responds, still managing to smile back. It’s only the thought of what could have happened that exhausts him, but Juudaime is alright, so Gokudera tries to stay positive. Juudaime turns serious again, however, and so Gokudera frowns in response. “What is it?”
“This shouldn’t have happened,” Juudaime says. “You’re always telling me I need to be more careful, but I thought at least today would be safe. I didn’t think they would go after me at a birthday party.” He turns to look at the storeroom door again, the hand slipping from Gokudera’s shoulder curling in a loose fist as he walks halfway to the door. "The girls are here. The kids are here."
"Juudaime..." Gokudera stands up, but doesn't walk over to Juudaime because he isn't sure what to say.
"We need to have a meeting at the base tonight," Juudaime says, abrupt.
"Yes." Gokudera can show his support better there.
"The people here right now are me, you, Yamamoto, and-" Juudaime stops himself from saying the name he hasn't mentioned since the radiation casualties, then continues, "-and your sister, and Fuuta, and I'll talk to Hibari-san personally afterwards, since he won't go to the meeting."
"You could invite Kusakabe in his stead."
"No, I need to talk to Hibari-san in person." Juudaime is still facing the door, so Gokudera can't see his expression. "And then we need to arrange a meeting with the Millefiore."
"Juudaime, that's not safe," Gokudera protests immediately. Juudaime turns around, determination in his eyes.
"I know you think it's a bad idea," Juudaime responds, "which is one of the reasons I haven't mentioned it to you lately, but I'm not going to sit around while Byakuran keeps sending exploding birthday presents into populated areas just to get at me." Gokudera sets his mouth in a firm line, but Juudaime keeps talking. "They have representatives in Japan."
"They have a whole base in Japan," Gokudera corrects.
"I know, and that's even more reason to meet with them," Juudaime continues. "We can't just keep doing what we've always done because things will just keep going down this path." He frowns more deeply. "We've become too set in our ways. We can't keep playing by the same rules, because we can't win like that. We need to do something different." He pauses, takes a few breaths. "I feel so old, Gokudera-kun."
"Juudaime, I don't know what you're trying to say." Gokudera walks up to him, and Juudaime slouches, resting his forehead against Gokudera's chest.
"I'm sorry," Juudaime sighs. "I know it seems like I'm not making much sense right now. I just don't want anyone else to get hurt." Gokudera wraps a tentative arm around him, and Juudaime relaxes further.
"...You should worry about your own safety as well," Gokudera chides gently. Juudaime will still make the final decision about that Millefiore meeting, but Gokudera will be damned if he doesn't try talking Juudaime out of it again.
"But you worry about me enough for the both of us," Juudaime says, a smile starting to appear in the tone of his voice once again. Juudaime looks up, and sure enough, the smile is there. For a moment, he looks apologetic again, but then the smile quickly overtakes it. "It'll be fine. Just…” he starts to raise a hand to Gokudera’s face, “…just remember that, okay?" The knob on the door jiggles. Gokudera steps back and moves closer to the table, swallowing again.
"Tsuna? Are you in there?" It's the Baseball Idiot.
"We got locked in," Juudaime says, in his usual harried tone of voice. Gokudera moves to gather up the bomb, and on second thought, grabs the flowers as well. It's both impressive and worrisome how quickly Juudaime can change his tone from their earlier conversation.
"Haha, how did that happen?" Baseball Idiot opens the storeroom door and walks in.
"Gokudera-kun was getting a vase for the flowers," Juudaime explained, "and then I went looking for him, and then we got locked in." Gokudera walks back from the table to the other two. Baseball Idiot looks down at the package, puzzled.
"You opened the present early?" he asks, then looks to Juudaime. "Why are there so many wires?"
"That's because it was a bomb," Juudaime says, as if a bomb was the same kind of present as a badly-knitted sweater from an elderly aunt. Baseball Idiot's smile vanishes. "Gokudera-kun defused it, though."
"It won't go off," Gokudera adds, "but I'll need to dispose of it properly once we get back to the base."
"Any idea who sent it?" Baseball Idiot asks, though the question is mostly a formality.
"Byakuran," Juudaime says, calmly. "We'll have a meeting about it later tonight, but right now, I want to get back to the party." Baseball Idiot nods, then smiles again.
"Did you still want a vase for the flowers, Tsuna?"
"We should just dump them," Gokudera says, looking at them distastefully.
"I don't really mind what you do with them either way," Juudaime says, "but I'm going to cut the cake next, so you two should be there for pictures."
"Alright," Baseball Idiot says.
"Of course," Gokudera says. Juudaime smiles once, nods, and then goes back to the party. Baseball Idiot's own smile vanishes again.
"The dumpster is out back," he tells Gokudera curtly. "You can stash the package upstairs in my old room."
"Thanks." Gokudera tosses the flowers, places the defused bomb delicately on the bed in Baseball Idiot's room, and gets back to the party. The cake cutting - as well as the opening of the other, non-explosive presents - goes off without a hitch.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once they get back to the base, there is a meeting about the bomb and the Millefiore. Gokudera does not manage to talk Juudaime out of arranging a meeting with a Millefiore representative captain.
“Juudaime, please reconsider!” Juudaime keeps walking in the direction of the hatch leading to Hibari’s own private base, and Gokudera follows him.
“Hibari-san will arrange a neutral area for the meeting. I’ll be quite safe.”
“Do you think a ‘neutral area’ will stop the Millefiore from planning something?” Gokudera knows that once Juudaime talks to Hibari, the discussion will be over for real. “They didn’t care about blowing up the sushi shop!” Juudaime pauses.
“That’s exactly why this meeting needs to happen,” Juudaime says. “I’ve considered the options. This is the best choice.”
“But Juudaime…” Gokudera reaches out a hand to turn Juudaime around. The worst part of this argument is that Juudaime won’t look at him when he talks about this meeting.
“Please don’t argue with me about this anymore, Gokudera-kun.” Gokudera drops his hand. Juudaime turns around, expression grave. “I’m sorry that I can’t make you understand this, but… it’s for the best. It really is.” This time, he does touch a hand to Gokudera’s cheek. “Please believe me.” Gokudera is terrified. Absolutely, completely terrified. But Juudaime is Juudaime.
“…Alright,” he concedes. “Go talk to Hibari.” Juudaime smiles again.
“Everything will be fine,” Juudaime says, and then continues on his walk to Hibari’s base.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Aneki and Fuuta leave immediately the next morning, to gather intelligence. A week later, the base receives a transmission from CEDEF; Juudaime sends Baseball Idiot to track down their representative. A few days after that, Hibari vanishes, and the only reason Kusakabe will give them is Mukuro. Gokudera curses to himself in Italian for a good ten minutes because now he’s the only guardian – the only person with real firepower besides Juudaime, really – at the base for Juudaime’s meeting with Irie.
“Do I really want to know what you’re actually saying?” Gokudera stops pacing to look at the person who’s entered the room.
“J-Juudaime.” Gokudera’s immediate thought is that no, Juudaime does not need to know that Gokudera’s mouth is even rougher in Italian than it is in Japanese. He coughs and tries to collect himself. “My apologies, Juudaime. None of that was directed at you.” Most of it was directed at Hibari and the Pineapple Bastard, but Juudaime doesn’t need to know that, either.
“Glad to hear it,” Juudaime responds, looking amused. “Are you alright?”
“…Yes,” Gokudera says, although he’s thoroughly worried about tomorrow’s meeting. Juudaime just keeps looking at him. “…No,” Gokudera amends, starting to pace again. “There should be more people here. We should be launching an offensive, not playing tea party. I don’t know why Hibari’s chasing after that cazzo di merda ananasso-”
“Gokudera-kun.” The disapproval is heavy in Juudaime’s voice.
“…My apologies, Juudaime.” Gokudera coughs again, stops pacing once more, and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m just concerned about how this will affect your meeting tomorrow.”
“Hibari-san wasn’t going to attend the meeting anyway,” Juudaime reminds him. "None of the Guardians are allowed to attend, remember?" That's another thing about the upcoming meeting Gokudera dislikes. The only people there will be Juudaime, Irie, and a few relatively unimportant subordinates to act as witnesses. Gokudera should be there. “He was just helping arrange things. You really don’t need to get so worked up. It’s bad for your health.”
“Is everything set up properly?” Gokudera asks. “Are you sure Hibari didn’t forget anything? And the location has been checked out thoroughly?”
“Yes, yes, and yes,” Juudaime answers, sighing.
“I wish you’d at least take your gloves with you. There’s still time to get a special pocket sewn in your suit. Millefiore won’t even know it’s there.”
“This is supposed to be a meeting to give us some breathing room, remember?” Juudaime says. “There aren’t going to be any weapons there, and that includes my gloves.” He sighs again. “Please stop pacing; it’s making me dizzy.” Gokudera hadn’t realized that he’d started again, so he stops and walks up to Juudaime. “Thank you.” Juudaime is frowning. “In fact, I…” he reaches in his pocket and takes out the gloves, in current mitten-form, “…I want you to hold on to these for me.”
“Juudaime, I couldn’t possibly-” Juudaime steps closer, takes Gokudera’s hand, and puts the mittens in his hand. The rest of the protest dies on Gokudera’s lips.
“Just for the meeting, alright?” he smiles. “That way I won’t be tempted, and Millefiore won’t have an excuse to get upset if they’ve found I brought them.” It makes too much sense for Gokudera to argue, and Juudaime probably knows this. Juudaime closes Gokudera’s hand over the mittens. “You can give them back to me after, once it’s over, okay?”
“…Alright.” Juudaime keeps smiling, and Gokudera places the mittens in the inside breast pocket of his coat. Intellectually, he knows that they’ll remain mittens until placed over Juudaime’s hands, but it still feels like they’re burning through his pocket. “You should get some rest,” Gokudera says. “You need to be at your best, for tomorrow.” Juudaime nods, expression serious again.
“You should go to sleep, too,” he says. “You’ve been staying up late too often, lately.” Now his frown is almost a pout, which is strangely reassuring; things have been too stressful for Juudaime to be able to afford to pout. “All the planning anyone could possibly do has already been done. I’m allowed to worry about you, too.” This is so nostalgic that Gokudera can’t help but smile. “Tomorrow’s going to be a long day, so…” Juudaime sighs again, then smiles one last time. He still looks a little sad, somehow, but Juudaime is trying so hard to stop Gokudera from worrying that Gokudera can’t help but feel better despite himself. “Everything will be fine, really. I should get to bed.” Juudaime turns halfway back to the door, though Gokudera can tell he’s stalling a bit. “…Goodnight, Gokudera-kun.”
“Goodnight, Juudaime.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And then the sky falls.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gokudera doesn’t know how many days it’s been since then. He hasn’t slept. He’s barely eaten, and only then to quiet his stomach from growling. He’s been replacing the flowers every day. Yamamoto was able to get a message through yesterday, saying that he hadn’t been able to contact the CEDEF liaison in person, but that he’d be returning to Namimori anyway, since he also has to make arrangements for his father. Hibari and Dokuro’s – and by extension, Mukuro’s – whereabouts are still unknown. Lambo and I-Pin are tracking down the girls. They haven’t been able to contact anyone in Italy.
He tried pretending that Juudaime is just asleep, that he's having some long, wonderful dream to make up for the waking nightmare of the current world, but it didn’t work. He doesn’t understand how someone with a hole in his forehead can look so peaceful. When he’s in these woods, everything else just turns fuzzy. He can’t tell how much time passes, when he’s in that clearing, the place he’s walking right now.
He can’t forget the feeling of seeing Juudaime, after the meeting’s abrupt end. They’d gotten a message from Irie of the Millefiore saying that he had half an hour to collect Juudaime, and after that, the truce would be over and the entirety of Vongola would be destroyed, down to the last man, woman, and child. Gokudera got there in six minutes. It was about seven minutes too late. Irie sent the message after he’d already done it, as he and his subordinates were slinking away. There wasn’t time for anything else, and Gokudera wouldn’t let anyone else touch Juudaime once he got there, so he just dragged Juudaime back to the closest entrance of the base. Most of the Vongola in and around Namimori scattered, or went into hiding. It was probably pure luck that Millefiore didn’t discover the base’s location, that day. Gokudera doesn’t remember much of what happened immediately after that, though Giannini said he was the one who cleaned Juudaime up and dressed him in his best suit.
The thing that replays itself in Gokudera’s mind the most is Juudaime telling him that everything would be fine. He said it so many times, smiling and not smiling. He seemed so sure about it, and Gokudera just doesn’t understand it.
Once Yamamoto gets here, Gokudera will discuss things with him, and they’ll figure out more arrangements. They’ll find a long-term solution for Juudaime that’s not so out in the open, and the other guardians will meet up with them as soon as they can, and they’ll get rid of Irie, and they’ll figure out what to do about the rest of the Millefiore after that. And then… and then…
There’s someone there, in the woods. He’s not alone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Five minutes. Five minutes is all he has been given. It is not enough. It will never be enough. But there are things that still need to be done. His personal wishes are secondary.
He is not prepared, but he says what needs to be said, in regards to Irie and Byakuran. If there’s a way to rectify his mistakes, a way for the young Juudaime to save himself, it will be there. Everything goes by too quickly. He cannot bring himself to answer the young Juudaime’s last question, and then he runs out of time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gokudera’s the first one to meet back up with Juudaime, after Irie releases them from the machine. Baseball Idiot isn’t far behind, of course, but Gokudera gets there first because he knows Juudaime’s exact location better than anyone else. The arcobalenos gave them all a general idea of what happened while they were in the machine, but Gokudera still needs to see Juudaime with his own eyes. He still can’t help but stop at the edge of the clearing, holding a hand up to a tree to steady himself, watching Juudaime looking down on his own coffin.
“Juudaime…” Juudaime turns around calmly. He must have heard Gokudera approach.
“Gokudera-kun.” Gokudera just keeps staring. “Are you going to chew me out?” He’s smiling.
“Juudaime, I…” He reaches for the inside pocket of his jacket, but pauses when Juudaime holds a hand up.
“Later tonight,” Juudaime says, gaze flicking to a point somewhere behind Gokudera. Gokudera nods in understanding and puts his hand back down at his side. “I’d understand if you yelled a bit now, though.”
“We’re not gonna yell,” Baseball Idiot says, walking up to the two of them, smiling easily. “That was quite the practical joke you pulled on everyone, though.” Juudaime laughs, though it’s slightly subdued.
“I guess you could call it that,” he hedges. Baseball Idiot walks up to Juudaime and hooks his arm around Juudaime’s shoulders.
“You can make it up by helping Gokudera and I set up the party tonight,” Baseball Idiot says. Gokudera scoffs, but finds a small smile creeping up his own face as well.
“I wasn’t aware we were hosting a party, Baseball Idiot.” Baseball Idiot pulls Juudaime back to the edge of the clearing, back towards the others. Gokudera falls in step, Baseball Idiot removes his arm from Juudaime’s neck, and the three of them continue walking.
“Of course there’s going to be a party. We’ve got everyone together again, don’t we?”
“That’s right,” Juudaime says. He sighs, but when Gokudera looks at Juudaime’s face, he looks happy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The party at the base goes well enough. Gokudera teams up with Kyoko-san to stop Lawn Head from crushing Juudaime in a well-meaning hug, and in return Juudaime makes sure Gokudera stays away from the stove. Lambo eats more food than he prepares. Haru and Dokuro make sure there are enough pillows on chairs for all the arcobalenos attending to be able to reach the table. Fuuta makes sure Aneki stays away from the stove as well. Hibari doesn’t attend. Most of them are tired by the time the party’s over, but Juudaime at least says he considers it a success. Afterwards, Lawn Head, Kyoko-san, and Haru leave to go see their families, and Baseball Idiot follows soon after. Giannini insists on doing the cleanup and shoos everyone else away for the night. Gokudera lingers near Juudaime’s side, even after everyone else has gone to their respective rooms.
“I suppose you want to talk,” Juudaime says. Gokudera nods. “We’ll go in here.” Juudaime leads him into one of the meeting rooms. It’s not a room they use that often, as it’s more a lounge than anything else, but there are a few comfortable couches there, and Juudaime sits down on one of them. Gokudera sit next to Juudaime, facing him, and reaches into the pocket of his suit. He pulls out the mittens and places them silently, somberly, back into Juudaime’s open palm. “Thank you.”
“Juudaime, I…” Gokudera is still looking down at Juudaime’s hand, and it’s suddenly a struggle to speak. He watches Juudaime’s hand put the mittens back in his own suit pocket. “I thought… we all thought…” He can’t finish the sentence.
“I know,” Juudaime answers, calm and a bit somber himself. “I’m sorry, but… I couldn’t think of another way for us to win.”
“How long did you have things planned out with Hibari and Irie beforehand?”
“A few months.” Gokudera looks back up at Juudaime’s face. That long?
“You purposely sent everyone away.” It’s not a question.
“It had to be kept secret. It wouldn’t have been believable if people had known. I wanted to keep our losses to a minimum during Millefiore’s initial retaliation. I had to give our past selves as much time and resources as possible.” Juudaime is still calm. He’s known for a while, Gokudera realizes, what kind of questions would be asked afterwards.
“I was the only one here when it happened,” Gokudera says. It’s not an accusation, but a reminder of the truth they’re both aware of.
“It was a little cruel of me,” Juudaime is wearing a sad smile, “to do that to you when you didn’t know, wasn’t it?” Gokudera remains silent; he doesn’t agree, but he doesn’t necessarily disagree, either. “I’m sorry for that, and I know it must have been hard for you, but there was no other way.”
“You said everything would be fine,” Gokudera starts. “I just…” It’s just that I realized there were still so many things I never got to say to you. I thought I wouldn’t have regrets like that, that we’d already said what we wanted to say, but I didn’t know that there were so many other things I never said. I thought you were gone, and I just can’t stand the thought of having to haul your body off the floor, or seeing you in some coffin in the woods, or knowing I won’t hear your voice again, or see you smile, when the only thing I want is-
“Oh, Gokudera-kun, I’m sorry,” Juudaime says, moving closer and wrapping his arms around Gokudera, rubbing a hand up and down Gokudera’s back. Gokudera doesn’t know when he started sobbing. “I’m sorry, I really am.” Gokudera curls his fingers into the font of Juudaime’s best suit. “Shh.” It still smells like flowers. “Please forgive me.”
“Of c-course,” Gokudera answers, still crying. Juudaime is Juudaime, after all. Juudaime sighs, and keeps rubbing Gokudera’s back. “Just please-” he inhales sharply, “-don’t do that again.”
“Mmm,” Juudaime says. Somehow, he already knows everything Gokudera hasn’t said out loud just now, which Gokudera has learned over the years to stop questioning. “But it’s okay now, it really is.” After another minute or two, Gokudera calms himself down, and Juudaime gently detaches his arms from around Gokudera. When Gokudera wipes his eyes dry to look at Juudaime, the look Juudaime returns him is part exasperation, part somberness, and part endearment. “You should get some rest; you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“No,” Gokudera agrees, “I haven’t.” The exasperation and endearment seem to be winning.
“Alright,” Juudaime smiles, “up you get.” He gets off the couch, and Gokudera follows suit. “I think Giannini-san said wings E and F were still stable. There are a good number of rooms there.” He keeps talking as they exit the lounge and head towards the bedrooms. “You really need to take better care of yourself. Where would I be if you just passed out from exhaustion one day, or gave yourself the flu, or an ulcer? I would have to actually do the paperwork, instead of just handing it off to you; you know how bad I am at those kinds of things. And I’ve been meaning to tell you, you really need to try and quit smoking again. Onii-san tells me he’s been lecturing you about the health hazards, and you’ve just been brushing him off, but he really has a point…” Maybe everything really is fine. Gokudera supposes that it’ll take a while for everything to sink in, but Juudaime really is walking beside him right now. The war with Millefiore is over, too, thanks to everyone from the past. It’s highly unlikely that they’ll ever find themselves in such a terrible situation again anytime soon, or at least as long as Juudaime is still in charge of Vongola.
“You’re completely correct,” Gokudera says.
“Were you even listening to what I was saying?” Juudaime asks. He looks a little confused. Pleased, but confused.
“You’re right,” Gokudera explains, “I’ll quit smoking, for real this time. And we’ll make repairs to the base, and finish the rest of the construction. We’ll have a good opportunity to strengthen our alliances, since word of our victory will be getting out quickly. We also need to start teaching you more Italian; you can’t always rely on others speaking Japanese. We need to think in the long-term. I’ll start writing up some strategies, starting tomorrow. They’ll just be rough drafts, of course, but you can tell me what you think of them, and I’ll make adjustments and corrections accordingly.” Juudaime laughs.
“That sounds good,” he says. “Long-term is good.” Juudaime stops in front of one of the bedrooms. “You can tell me more about it all tomorrow, alright?” He takes Gokudera’s hand and squeezes it once.
“Of course,” Gokudera says, smiling confidently and squeezing back tentatively.
“Goodnight, Gokudera-kun,” Juudaime half-smiles, half-laughs, then lets his hand drop back to his side.
“Goodnight, Juudaime.” Juudaime goes into his room, and Gokudera continues walking towards the one next to it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tell me what you think~