KH [Awakenings] Fic: Whisper
Aug. 20th, 2010 05:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
way2dawnTitle: Whisper
Author:way2dawn
Characters/Pairing: Sora/Riku
Rating: M for mature situations (including sexual ones) and some talk about blood/injuries.
Summary: Mostly, Riku’s just surprised that he’s still alive. Still, Sora figures that everything’s going to turn out okay, after all.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta,myth. Part of the Awakenings Verse, but can be read as a standalone.
Whisper
Walking out to the world after the battle – well, it’s more like Sora half-carrying, half-dragging him than anything else – the first thing Riku notices is that it’s dark. He can hear the ocean, but he can’t smell it right now over the blood and sweat clinging to his and Sora’s skin, so it seems far away at the moment. Mostly, he’s just surprised that he’s still alive. Mostly, he’s just glad that wherever they are, Sora’s here with him.
This place is both so much like their home and so very different from it; it’s almost like a photo negative, with its shadowy background and its small, indistinguishable figures in the foreground. And there’s a nostalgic ache in him for the familiar shore he’s probably never going to see again, a yearning to just spend one more day doing absolutely nothing on the Play Island besides run around or just sit on the Paopu tree. He misses that feeling of endless possibility, but isn’t sure when or if he’s ever going to get it back. And Sora wants to go back, too, he knows, but it seems like they can’t, so maybe they should just start trying to get used to this place.
“It’s okay,” he tells Sora, “I can walk.” And his side is still a throbbing, twisting pass of pain, and he’s not going to tell Sora that he liked being so close a bit more than a best friend probably should, but Sora looks pretty tired, too, and Riku’s not going to wear Sora out even more just because of selfish reasons. Sora gives him a cursory pat or two, seems satisfied with Riku being able to stand, and then walks closer to the shore.
The ocean rushes, and Riku stays standing for a few moments more, but the breeze off the sea has the lingering scent of darkness that’s seemed to seep into almost everything here, and when it rushes in through Riku’s nostrils, he’s too dizzy to stand up anymore. His knees hit the black sand and his fingers dig into the fine grit; Sora says something from where he is over near the water, but Riku can’t understand it over the roar of the ocean in his ears and the pulsing of the blood in his side. It’s only when he hears Sora saying his name that the noise dulls and when he takes a deep breath that he can think again. Out of this world and the Realm of Light, this is the world that wanted him more.
“This world is perfect for me,” he can’t help but let out, pushing up on his arms so that he’s kneeling again. And if Sora would just stay here with him, that would be alright. For a second, he’s not sure if Sora’s going to agree, that maybe it’s just Rikuthat would be willing to stay here, in this darkness, but Sora does agree to stay with him and carries him to the water, so maybe that’s… not so bad, after all.
They talk of friends and imitations, and Riku can barely put into words the feeling he gets when he realizes that yes, things really are okay between him and Sora again. After everything that’s happened, it’s such a relief to have the comfortable talking, the companionable silence that Riku has barely experienced since they left home. He watches Sora gaze into the horizon, his eternally spiky hair moving slightly with the soft breeze and framing his face, and there's a seriousness gained from battles that wasn't present on the shore at home, but he's still so undeniably Sora that it fills Riku with a strange, secret sense of elation.
“Riku, I think we need to look at your side,” Sora says eventually, turning to face him with that same, serious expression. Riku freezes a little and tries to subtly cover it with his hand, but it doesn’t work.
“I’m fine,” he says a little too hastily, “it’s not even really bleeding anymore.” Sora looks at Riku’s side and then looks back at Riku. Oh, right, Riku’s a bad liar, especially when it comes to trying to fool Sora. “…not much.” Truthfully, Riku’s actually worried that his side might be hurt more than Sora’s ability to fix, and if that’s the case, then he doesn’t want Sora to see how bad it really is. He’d jump in front of an attack like that again for Sora in a heartbeat if he needed to, but… he just didn’t expect to survive that and doesn’t want to see Sora’s face if it turns out he might not, after all.
“Come on,” Sora says, smiling, “I’ve still got some tents and things, and I’ve got my magic back, so don’t worry about it.” And he looks so sure of himself that it convinces Riku enough that maybe the situation isn’t completely lost and maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to at least humor the brunet teen a little.
“Okay,” Riku replies, and he can’t keep the smile from his face, so he ducks his head a little when Sora helps him back up to a little spot between the rocks that’s the perfect size for a campfire and a tent. Sora sets Riku down to sit with his back leaning against some of the rocks, starts the campfire, and gets the things to set the tent up when Riku stops him. “…Hey, Sora?” The brunet pauses.
“Yeah, what is it?” Sora asks with a concerned face, holding the tent poles under one of his arms.
“Can you just set up the sleeping bags? I want to see the stars.” It’s dark and very overcast here, but Riku hopes that the stars might be visible for a little while if some of the clouds move.
“…Okay,” Sora responds, and just sets up the sleeping bags before going over to where Riku’s sitting, to look at his side. He helps Riku out of his vest and then unzips Riku’s shirt to look at his left side. Reaching out a hand tentatively, he skims his fingers over the wound, trying his best to trace but not touch it too much. Riku feels Sora’s fingers travel from under his stomach, level with his navel, around his still-bloody side, and then to his back, stopping just a few inches from his spine, seeing Sora’s eyes getting just a fraction wider the further his fingers go.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Riku lies again. “It doesn’t even hurt that much.” And Riku’s built up an immunity to pain, so he can still carry on a conversation with a relatively straight face instead of passing out like what most people would probably do by now.
“…Lemme go get a towel to clean this up a little,” Sora responds, fingers red, getting up to take his gloves off and dip a cloth into the pot of water he was boiling earlier when he first set up the campfire. Sora’s worried now, Riku can tell, but he just crosses his mental fingers and hopes that Sora’ll be able to do something, at least, even if it’s just to cut down the pain a little. When Sora comes to kneel back down beside where Riku’s sitting – sans gloves and with the warm, damp cloth – he slowly reaches to wipe away the blood, dirt, and sand that’s stuck to Riku’s skin. Riku can’t stop himself from inhaling sharply when the cloth touches his side, and Sora sees it before he has time to put a neutral expression back on his face. “Oh, does that sting really bad?”
“It’s okay,” Riku replies, voice tight, “just keep going.” Sora holds Riku’s hand with the free one that isn’t using the cloth, and then gives it a good squeeze when Riku instinctively grips it tightly. Slowly, the extra grime comes off and they can both see – Sora a little more so from his angle – the real extent of the damage. It’s… deeper than Riku thought it was, especially in the center of the wound. “It’ll be fine, Sora.” Riku tries to sound reassuring, but Sora still looks kind of upset. So, next strategy: distraction. “You said you’ve got your magic back, right?” he asks. Sora brings his gaze up from Riku’s side to his face. “So let’s try that, okay?” And there’s Sora’s assurance coming back, so Riku counts that as a success.
“Right,” Sora says; he lets go of Riku’s hand with one more squeeze and drops the cloth to stand up and call his Keyblade to his hand. Pointing the tip of the Keyblade at Riku’s side, he closes his eyes and chants the cure spell. Riku’s too busy looking at Sora to watch his side, but he feels the spell start to work and sees the green glow out of the corner of one eye. With an exhale, Sora opens his eyes and dismisses the Keyblade to kneel and inspect Riku’s side again.
“It worked a little, I think,” Riku says. And Sora’s spell healed the worst of the damage near the center, but somehow failed to cure it completely or seal the skin.
“I gotta wait a while before I can do that again,” Sora explains, looking at Riku, then moves his gaze back down to Riku’s side. “Usually, it does more than that…” Riku finds Sora’s hand again.
“It’s fine,” he says, and that makes Sora smile again, but then they both watch as Riku’s side does the unexpected and slowly unknits itself again.
“That’s never happened before,” Sora frowns. “I don’t know what’s going on.” He stands up again. “Let me try it one more time.” And it seems to work again, but not a minute later, Riku watches Sora’s frown creep back as the magic once more undoes itself. “O-one more time.” Sora tries a third time, and an expression of dismay crosses his face when the same thing happens, quickly followed by a determined one.
“One more time,” Sora says again, gaze resolute, starting to stand up again a fourth time, but Riku pulls him back down. The brunet’s starting to look tired, everywhere except his eyes, which look stubbornly at Riku.
“Hey, Sora, let’s try something else,” he suggests. “You’re gonna wear yourself out like this.” And Sora’s got a stubborn line in his mouth, too, but then glances down at Riku’s side and seems to agree.
“…Okay,” Sora sighs. “Lemme go get the Potions and stuff.” He rummages around in the supplies by the campfire and pulls out some bottles, then walks back to where Riku’s still propped up against the rocks. “There’s three Elixirs that come with each tent,” Sora explains, “and I don’t need any, so you can have those three. I’ve got a couple Hi-Potions and another Elixir in my pockets.” And Riku reminds himself that Sora’s wearing magical clothes. “What’ve you got left?”
“I’ve got a Hi-Potion and can conjure a Potion,” Riku replies, “but then I’m out of magic for a while.” Sora looks thoughtful. “And I don’t think I should go three in a row like you just did, so let’s just use what we’ve got right now.” Sora smiles a little sheepishly at that last comment, but nods and looks decisive again.
“Alright, let’s start with an Elixir,” Sora pronounces, and uncorks one and hands it to Riku. Riku drinks it and then looks at Sora looking at his side. It seems to work at first, but then Riku feels his skin unknit again and sees Sora’s face try not to fall.
“I’ve got the rest of my magic back, at least,” Riku says, because he feels worse about Sora being disappointed than he does about his side. But then Sora peers directly at the wound for a few seconds, after which a look of triumph appears on his face.
“I’ve got it!” Sora says, reaching for another Elixir.
“What is it?” Riku asks. But Sora’s already uncorked the Elixir and instead of handing it to Riku for him to drink is using his fingers to rub it directly onto Riku’s side. It’s… partly a weird sensation, since the Elixir is cool to the touch and slightly tingling, but Sora’s fingers are warm and softly moving across his skin, and Riku really tries to keep his breathing at the normal pace for someone who should probably not be smiling as much as he wants to. “Oh, it’s… is it actually working?” he asks again because he can’t think of anything else intelligent to say right now.
“Yeah,” Sora responds, pausing slightly to get more of the Elixir onto Riku’s side, “there was this red stuff in there. I couldn’t tell earlier because I thought it was just blood, but it was trying to eat your skin, I think.” That sounds unpleasant, but Riku just nods because Sora’s still got his fingers all over Riku’s side. “Doing it this way seems to be getting rid of that stuff, though.” Riku lets himself relax a little against the rocks, and Sora gives him a brief smile before focusing his attention onto Riku’s side again. “Yeah, I think we got it,” Sora repeats, and Riku lets himself smile a bit in return because Sora’s confidence in Riku’s recovery seems to have come back in full force.
“That’s good,” Riku murmurs, and contents himself with Sora’s optimism and Sora’s fingers until they’re done with the rest of the bottle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“…Oh, is that bottle done?” Riku asks, a little delayed, after Sora’s finished putting a second round of Elixir onto Riku’s side. Looking up from his work, Sora notices that Riku’s leaning back a little more on the rocks behind him and that he’s blinking a little slowly, maybe like he’s been dozing off a little. Sora’s been putting most of his effort into making sure that the Elixirs are getting used efficiently and that Riku’s getting better as fast as possible, so he hasn’t really noticed if Riku’s been getting drowsy or not.
“Yeah,” Sora replies, “but I’m not done closing up your side yet.” They’ve still got one Elixir and a couple Hi-Potions left before Riku has to conjure any of the regular Potions, so Sora’s confident that they’ll be able to finish without Riku using up too much of his energy.
“Just bandage it for now;” Riku says, still blinking but smiling at Sora a little lazily, “we can finish tomorrow.” And Riku does look kind of sleepy, so maybe that’s a good idea.
“Oh, you’re probably tired, aren’t you?” Sora asks, but that just makes Riku smile a little wider. Well, that’s definitely a good thing, so it’s nice to know that Riku’s not annoyed at him for keeping him up.
“It’s okay,” Riku responds, and then his smile turns more playful. “We got a lot of things done today, didn’t we?” And now Riku’s just teasing, so he can’t be that tir- …Oh right, they saved the worlds. Sora’d been paying so much attention to trying to get Riku to heal that he’d almost forgotten about that.
“Yeah, we did,” Sora agrees, grinning. “Let me go find some bandages and then I’ll help you to your sleeping bag.”
“It’s not that deep of a cut now,” Riku points out, but he’s still smiling, so Sora figures that means he’s not going to object to the help. A short while later, and Riku’s been bandaged and moved to his sleeping bag, lying on his right side and watching Sora rearrange his own bag just a few feet away with a small, contented smile he probably doesn’t even know he still has on. Sora’s about to settle down himself, but then sneaks a glance at Riku and contemplates things. After a moment of thought, he picks up his sleeping bag and moves it so that it’s right next to Riku’s. Riku seems surprised by this and blinks once, but he doesn’t say anything, just looks at Sora in silent, curious question.
“…Well, it’s probably going to get cold at night here, and I need to make sure that your side’s okay,” Sora explains, after a beat. And that’s a very flimsy excuse, but Riku just shrugs from where he is and lets Sora settle down next to him. Truthfully, Sora still can’t shake the feeling that Riku might just disappear or run off somewhere again if Sora doesn’t keep an eye on him, and Sora really doesn’t want that to happen, so he’s going to do everything he can to keep Riku as close as possible, temporary embarrassment or not.
Riku laughs softly when Sora scoots closer, but it’s a warm, friendly laugh with a subtle undertone to it that Sora can’t quite place just yet. And Sora realizes belatedly that there’s probably not much of a difference between night and day here, but huddles a little against Riku like he’s cold anyway. There’re a few seconds where Sora debates what to do with his arm, but his thought process is interrupted with the light brush against his forehead by what he realizes are Riku’s lips. Tilting his head to look up at Riku, the older teen doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, just has that small, contented, subtle smile on again, and Sora doesn’t know what to think about that because there are suddenly about a billion butterflies in his stomach that came from out of who-knows-where. Sora has no idea what all this is supposed to mean, and in the stillness, Riku doesn’t seem like he’s going to explain.
“Goodnight,” Riku says eventually, quiet, almost like a whisper, and with just a little bit of caution that he’s probably trying to hide. The butterflies are doing acrobatic butterfly somersaults, and Sora doesn’t know why Riku would have a reason to be cautious because he can’t possibly be as nervous or confused as Sora is right now.
“G’night,” Sora somehow manages to respond, his own voice gone mysteriously quiet as well, and he ducks his head under Riku’s chin relatively quickly. His insides are the butterfly Olympics when he decides that maybe Riku won’t chop his arm off if he puts it around the older teen’s waist, carefully avoiding the bandaged area, which causes Riku to hum under his breath once and do the same with his own arm and Sora’s waist. And that’s kind of nice, actually, so Sora lets himself relax, save thinking about things until tomorrow, and drift off to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next day, after Sora’s made a light breakfast from some of the food that came with the tent, the two of them move back to the rocks they were at yesterday, with Riku propped sitting up and Sora keeling beside him. Riku’s side doesn’t really hurt that much anymore, or at least not as much as it did yesterday, but he’s surprised to see, after Sora unwraps the bandages, that the wound’s gotten a little worse again.
“I think we need to heal it all the way, Riku,” Sora says, “or it’s just going to keep coming back.” He’s got a little almost-frown on again, and one of his hands is reaching for the last Elixir, but the other one’s running absently on Riku’s side, fingertips lightly tracing the outline of the wound. Riku resists the urge to move his side closer to Sora’s fingers.
“Alright,” Riku replies, in the few moments Sora moves his fingers away to uncork the Elixir, but then loses the ability to speak coherently once Sora’s now Elixir-covered fingers are back on his side. And he thinks that Sora’s gotten pretty good at this whole fix-Riku’s-side business because it honestly doesn’t even hurt anymore and the Elixir-covered fingers on his side are both warm and cool in a way that makes Riku wish a little that they could just stay like this forever. The last of the Elixir gets Riku’s side to better than where they ended the night before, and the first Hi-Potion reduces the wound to a long, shallow cut. What’s different from usual is that while the next-to-last Hi-Potion seals the cut completely, it leaves a line of white scar tissue wrapped around Riku’s side afterwards.
“Okay, let me get the other Hi-Potion,” Sora says. “That should finish things up.” But looking down at his side, Riku wonders if maybe they shouldn’t do that. It’s not a normal sort of wound, like all of the hundreds Sora and him have gotten over the course of their journeys that’ve been easily healed with a cure spell or Potion, so… it’s important to remember. There’s no way that Riku could – or should, for that matter – forget the things that happened, even if he’s still in the process of defining exactly what it all means, so if this is the way he ends up reminding himself, then that’s fine.
“…No, you don’t have to,” he says, reaching to grab Sora’s hand that was moving towards the bottle. “It’s okay like this.” Sora looks up at his face, attention no longer on his side or the bottle of Hi-Potion, somewhere between confused and concerned.
“But Riku, your-”
“It’s fine, I don’t mind it,” he replies gently, smiling and hoping that he sounds reassuring. Sora reaches with the hand that Riku’s not holding and slowly traces the line from Riku’s abdomen to his back and then again in the other direction to his starting point, eyes following his fingers.
“…Are you sure?” Sora asks quietly when he’s done, looking with a serious expression back up at Riku’s face, and Riku wonders when they started talking in hushed voices again.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Riku smiles, with a light squeeze to Sora’s hand, and that seems to satisfy the brunet because his expression clears up and he smiles back at Riku, not one of his exuberant grins but a relatively smaller, quieter one. “…I don’t regret it, you know,” he finds himself saying. And it’s true; he didn’t even waste time thinking about what to do, just acted on instinct because Sora needs help and I need to make sure Sora’s okay and nothing else mattered after that. This comment seems to surprise Sora a little because his eyes get wide, focusing intently on Riku now, and his mouth opens slightly.
“…Oh,” Sora says, after a beat. He blinks slowly, like he’s just thought of something, but doesn’t say anything else, and Riku’s not really sure what’s going through the brunet’s head right now.
“What is it, Sora?” Did he say too much? Did Sora not want Riku to do that for him?
“…Oh, it’s just,” Sora responds slowly, like he’s still thinking of something, “that’s the same thing Axel said.” He pauses momentarily. “Before he died.” Oh, that is a good reason to pause for thought, isn’t it? Riku doesn’t yet know what to think of Sora comparing him to Axel, but holds off saying anything himself because Sora doesn’t look like he’s done talking yet. “I was with Donald and Goofy, and we were trying to get through a corridor to the World That Never Was, but it was all blocked and there were Nobodies everywhere. So Axel kind of…” Sora pauses again for a second, looking back down at Riku’s side, “…set himself on fire and exploded himself so we could get through.” Then, Sora falls silent.
“…I didn’t know about that,” Riku comments, a little subdued. It… doesn’t seem like a surprising thing for the redheaded Nobody to do, actually, once he thinks about it. And Riku really wants to thank Axel for doing that, suddenly, and is disappointed that he can’t.
“Yeah, he said that he did it because he wanted to see Roxas again,” Sora continues. Riku thinks about Roxas for a moment and hopes that he’s happy with Sora, that maybe if Sora isn’t mad at Riku anymore, then Roxas isn’t either. But then Sora starts talking again, so Riku decides to put off thinking about Roxas until some other time. “Because he said he was in love with Roxas. He said that me and Roxas made him feel like he had a heart.” Axel being in love with Roxas isn’t surprising, either, but did that mean that Axel was in love with Sora, too? Riku’s not sure what his feelings are about that, but Sora starts to run his fingers over Riku’s side once more, and then the thought leaves his head. Sora frowns again.
“And then we were fighting,” Sora says, “and then you got hurt because of me, and…” the brunet blinks a few times, “…and I was really worried that the same thing was going to happen with you like what happened with Axel, and…” his breath hitches, “…and I really…” he trails off, mouth in an agitated downturn and fingers still moving back and forth across Riku’s side.
“Hey, Sora, it’s okay,” Riku murmurs. “I’m here now, so…” Sora looks back up at him and his hand stills to rest warm on Riku’s side, and Riku is at once very aware of how close they actually are to each other, but wills himself to continue because he can’tstand seeing Sora upset because of something he did, “…so please don’t be sad about it, okay?” There’re a few, long moments where they just look at each other in the silence, and Riku doesn’t break the hush that’s fallen over them because Sora looks like he wants to say something, and in a strange sort of anticipation, Riku both does and doesn’t know what it is.
“Riku,” Sora asks slowly, eyes calm and focused on Riku’s face, “are you in love with me?” For a few seconds, Riku doesn’t move, doesn’t even breathe, but he eventually does the only thing he can do.
“Yes,” he whispers. Sora doesn’t seem surprised.
“Oh,” Sora responds, “I thought you were.” Is that… Riku can’t tell if Sora means it as a good thing or a bad one, but the brunet’s momentary biting of his lip doesn’t give Riku any hints. “For how long?” he asks next, and his hand is still resting on Riku’s side and his other one is still holding onto Riku’s.
“Always,” Riku hears himself say, voice hoarse for reasons he can’t explain. This answer seems to surprise Sora a little, at least, but he doesn’t say anything in response to that. And then Sora keeps not saying anything, and Riku just feels more and more awful the longer time drags on. Because Sora is still just as much in love with Kairi as he was when Riku saw their reunion in the World That Never Was, Riku was an idiot for thinking that admitting this to Sora would end well, and now he has to say something, anything to not ruin again what they just spent the past two days carefully putting back together. “Sora, I-” And Riku’s voice sounds even more hoarse in his ears than it did before, and the thought of having to deny what he just said is probably the worst thing in the world right now, but Sora suddenly raises the hand that’s still holding onto Riku’s and places it in front of Riku’s mouth.
“Wait,” Sora says, and Riku closes his mouth again; Sora lets their hands slowly fall to rest on Riku’s leg. “Just… don’t take that back, it’s okay, I…” But Riku doesn’t really think that there’s anything Sora could possibly say to make the situation any less horrible than it is right now. “…I didn’t realize it for the longest time myself,” Sora explains, darting a glance back down, then bringing it up quickly to look intently into Riku’s eyes, “but it’s okay because I think I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.” Riku isn’t sure at this point if he’s started breathing again yet because he’s so focused on Sora that there isn’t a single other thought in his head besides the words Sora’s just said. “So it’s okay, right?” Riku thinks his vocal cords stopped working properly a while ago.
“…Sora?” he asks, hesitantly, and he doesn’t know why he can’t spit out more than one word at a time. Sora, though, finally smiles again and, leaning forward just slightly, lightly presses his lips against Riku’s own. They stay like that for a little, and when Sora moves back, Riku opens his eyes again to see that the brunet’s still smiling, just the faintest hint of nervousness around the edges but happy in a way that seems to be contagious.
“Okay?” Sora asks one more time.
“Yeah,” Riku replies, smiling a bit himself, and this time when Sora leans forward, Riku meets him halfway.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sora realizes that he’s not really sure how it’s supposed to work with two guys, but Riku just kisses the corner of his mouth with his lips curved upwards, conjures a Potion, pulls Sora forward to rest on top of him, and slowly begins to use the Potion bottle’s contents on himself – and how is it that Riku always knows what to do? – so he figures that everything’s going to turn out alright, after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some time later, Riku and Sora are sitting back by the water, in shorts and pants again but bare shoulders touching and fingers entwined, and when the breeze starts up again, it moves some of the clouds away and opens up a patch of stars.
“Hey, Sora,” Riku says, nudging the brunet and pointing upwards, “the stars are out.” Somewhat distracted by the way Sora’s face breaks out into a grin, he fails to notice when the owner of that grin reaches to pull Riku down so that they’re both laying on the sand looking up at the group of stars Riku pointed out. Still, he can’t help but let out a little laugh. “H-hey, what is it?”
“There’s something I want you to see,” Sora replies, gaze searching upwards for… something. “You’ll be able to see it if those clouds over there move.” And he points to a group of clouds to their left with the hand that’s not holding onto Riku’s, that anticipated expression clear on his face. “Come on…” he mutters, scooting close to Riku again.
“What are we looking for?” Riku asks, turning his head to look at Sora, curious at what’s got the brunet so excited.
“You’ll see,” Sora just says in response, still looking upwards. “Just a little more…” He seems to be holding his breath almost, squeezing Riku’s hand tightly when the breeze moves the clouds again, further expanding the clear area. “Just a- there!” Sora points eagerly at some of the stars, “Right there, there it is!” Riku can’t really tell at first what exactly Sora’s pointing at because he’s not keeping his hand still, but it seems to be a particular cluster of stars.
“Sora, you’re moving your arm all over the place,” Riku says, “I can’t tell what you’re pointing at.” He really wants to know what Sora’s gotten so worked up over, too.
“It’s… okay, there’s the top,” Sora starts to trace an outline of a figure, “and then it goes this way, and then down, and then that’s the bottom…” The figure slowly takes shape, and Riku feels his jaw start to drop open. “…And then it goes back up this way, and then it’s kind of squiggly there, and then it goes that way back up to the top again.”
Sora’s got his own constellation now. Wow.
“…Wow,” Riku says, a little breathless if he admitted that to himself. Sora’s probably grinning again, but Riku’s eyes are fixed on the spot the brunet’s been pointing to. “That’s really…?”
“Yeah,” Sora replies, almost sounding a fraction breathless himself, “And that’s Goofy off to the left and Donald to the right.” He keeps going, and Riku just finds himself nodding slowly along. “It was when we were in Olympus Coliseum last time, and Phil said he thought that we were still just junior heroes instead of the regular kind, but apparently the gods there decided differently.” And Sora says regular like all this is normal for him, and… Riku realizes that it probably is, and that’s kind of amazing, too. “So…” Sora nudges him with his shoulder, and Riku turns his gaze away from the constellation to look at the genuine article, “pretty cool, huh?” He’s got this infectious grin on again, so Riku tilts his head to kiss it lightly.
“Definitely cool,” he agrees, and Sora laughs. And because Riku is a teenage boy and because Sora is a teenage boy as well, it’s really not long before the one kiss turns into two kisses, which in turn soon progress into a moderately sandy makeout session on the beach. And Sora’s still got all this seemingly boundless energy from showing Riku that constellation, so Riku lets Sora lead him back to the sleeping bags and they continue from there.
“Hey, Riku,” Sora says a few minutes later, breathless again and tugging at Riku’s jeans with one hand, the other pressed against the small of Riku’s back. Riku lifts his head up from where he’d been busy trying to find some more of the sensitive spots on Sora’s collarbone to look at the brunet’s slightly nervous face.
“Yeah?” Riku asks, but Sora’s still tugging at his jeans, so it sounds a bit more likemmyah? than a coherent word.
“I was wondering if…” Riku runs a hand down Sora’s arm in what he hopes is an encouraging manner. “Well, I was thinking about it, and…” And Sora’s started to unzip Riku’s jeans now, so that’s not exactly making it easy for Riku to follow what he’s saying.
“What is it, Sora?” he murmurs, placing a kiss on Sora’s temple and then slowly moving to the brunet’s earlobe. Sora flushes slightly, but then continues his semi-rambling question.
“I wanted to know if we could…” and Sora’s definitely blushing by now, but keeps going, “…I mean, I want to try it the other way around this time.” Riku slowly brings his mouth away from Sora’s ear so he can look at him better; Sora’s still nervous, sure, but he’s got that determined look in his eyes again. “Because I really liked how it was last time,” and now he’s got a finger running along the top line of Riku’s boxers, which is driving Riku slightly crazy, but he probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it, “but I-I want you to do it this time.” Riku suddenly feels a little nervous himself.
“Sora, I…” He gradually covers the hand running along his boxers with his own and pauses its motion because that’s making it very difficult to think and he doesn’t know what to say to not make Sora upset at him.
“I really want you to,” Sora repeats, in a quiet voice, looking up at him solemnly, and he’s getting upset anyway because Riku’s not very good at hiding his hesitation.
“…I don’t want to hurt you,” Riku mumbles eventually, looking down because it’s kind of painful to see Sora’s face when he knows it’s his fault the brunet’s feeling so upset, and his voice has gone to a whisper, like maybe if he says it quietly enough, Sora might not hear it.
“Riku, you-” Sora starts to protest, the hand covered by Riku’s twitching once slightly. But then he stops himself and takes a breath, using his other hand to lift Riku’s chin so they’re looking at each other and beginning again in a much calmer tone. “Riku.” And he’s got his determined face on again, but it’s gentle, not stubborn. “You’re not going to hurt me.” Riku himself wants to look away, but can’t bring himself to jostle Sora’s hand; he wants to voice his doubt and disagreement, but the words die somewhere in his throat and refuse to leave his mouth.
“So-” he pleads because he really can’t say anything else right now.
“Riku,” Sora repeats, eyes steady and confident and at least a dozen other things Riku still half-wishes he could be more like. “You’re not going to hurt me.” And he kisses Riku firmly, deepens it when Riku begins his hesitant response, moves Riku’s hand to undo his shorts when it slackens the grip it’d had on Sora’s. “It’s okay,” Sora says with an easy smile, looking up at Riku once he’s coaxed them horizontal, a hand on Riku’s cheek and eyes bluer than Riku’s ever seen them, “I trust you.” It’s soeffortless, the way he says it.
Riku goes into an absolute standstill. He doesn’t do a single thing besides look at Sora in that moment, at Sora looking at him with complete certainty; he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t think anything, just lets Sora’s words sink into him for one long, sustained second. And then he takes a stuttering inhale, and has to duck his head into the crook of Sora’s neck when time starts flowing normally again because he thinks he’s been waiting his whole life and more for this and everything inside of him is pulling him towards Sora at an incomprehensible pace and he has to divert it somehow, or Sora is never going to say something like that ever again.
“Thank you,” he whispers, throat choked, barely able to hear his own words over the thumping in his ears. I love you, he mouths into the juncture where Sora’s neck meets his collarbone. But Sora wraps his arms tight around him, so Riku’s glad to know he got both messages.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sora skinnydips in the ocean, looks over at Riku sitting in about five inches of water, just as unclothed, leaning back on his hands and just… smiling at him. He smiles back at Riku, wades over to plop himself down between Riku’s legs, and wraps his arms around Riku’s neck when Riku leans forward to kiss him because this thing is a good thing and there’s not much else that has to be said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few days and a long while later, Riku feels a glass bottle bump up against his shoe. He uncorks it and hands Sora his letter.
“We’ll go together.”
“Yeah.”
Author:
way2dawnCharacters/Pairing: Sora/Riku
Rating: M for mature situations (including sexual ones) and some talk about blood/injuries.
Summary: Mostly, Riku’s just surprised that he’s still alive. Still, Sora figures that everything’s going to turn out okay, after all.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta,
myth. Part of the Awakenings Verse, but can be read as a standalone.Whisper
Walking out to the world after the battle – well, it’s more like Sora half-carrying, half-dragging him than anything else – the first thing Riku notices is that it’s dark. He can hear the ocean, but he can’t smell it right now over the blood and sweat clinging to his and Sora’s skin, so it seems far away at the moment. Mostly, he’s just surprised that he’s still alive. Mostly, he’s just glad that wherever they are, Sora’s here with him.
This place is both so much like their home and so very different from it; it’s almost like a photo negative, with its shadowy background and its small, indistinguishable figures in the foreground. And there’s a nostalgic ache in him for the familiar shore he’s probably never going to see again, a yearning to just spend one more day doing absolutely nothing on the Play Island besides run around or just sit on the Paopu tree. He misses that feeling of endless possibility, but isn’t sure when or if he’s ever going to get it back. And Sora wants to go back, too, he knows, but it seems like they can’t, so maybe they should just start trying to get used to this place.
“It’s okay,” he tells Sora, “I can walk.” And his side is still a throbbing, twisting pass of pain, and he’s not going to tell Sora that he liked being so close a bit more than a best friend probably should, but Sora looks pretty tired, too, and Riku’s not going to wear Sora out even more just because of selfish reasons. Sora gives him a cursory pat or two, seems satisfied with Riku being able to stand, and then walks closer to the shore.
The ocean rushes, and Riku stays standing for a few moments more, but the breeze off the sea has the lingering scent of darkness that’s seemed to seep into almost everything here, and when it rushes in through Riku’s nostrils, he’s too dizzy to stand up anymore. His knees hit the black sand and his fingers dig into the fine grit; Sora says something from where he is over near the water, but Riku can’t understand it over the roar of the ocean in his ears and the pulsing of the blood in his side. It’s only when he hears Sora saying his name that the noise dulls and when he takes a deep breath that he can think again. Out of this world and the Realm of Light, this is the world that wanted him more.
“This world is perfect for me,” he can’t help but let out, pushing up on his arms so that he’s kneeling again. And if Sora would just stay here with him, that would be alright. For a second, he’s not sure if Sora’s going to agree, that maybe it’s just Rikuthat would be willing to stay here, in this darkness, but Sora does agree to stay with him and carries him to the water, so maybe that’s… not so bad, after all.
They talk of friends and imitations, and Riku can barely put into words the feeling he gets when he realizes that yes, things really are okay between him and Sora again. After everything that’s happened, it’s such a relief to have the comfortable talking, the companionable silence that Riku has barely experienced since they left home. He watches Sora gaze into the horizon, his eternally spiky hair moving slightly with the soft breeze and framing his face, and there's a seriousness gained from battles that wasn't present on the shore at home, but he's still so undeniably Sora that it fills Riku with a strange, secret sense of elation.
“Riku, I think we need to look at your side,” Sora says eventually, turning to face him with that same, serious expression. Riku freezes a little and tries to subtly cover it with his hand, but it doesn’t work.
“I’m fine,” he says a little too hastily, “it’s not even really bleeding anymore.” Sora looks at Riku’s side and then looks back at Riku. Oh, right, Riku’s a bad liar, especially when it comes to trying to fool Sora. “…not much.” Truthfully, Riku’s actually worried that his side might be hurt more than Sora’s ability to fix, and if that’s the case, then he doesn’t want Sora to see how bad it really is. He’d jump in front of an attack like that again for Sora in a heartbeat if he needed to, but… he just didn’t expect to survive that and doesn’t want to see Sora’s face if it turns out he might not, after all.
“Come on,” Sora says, smiling, “I’ve still got some tents and things, and I’ve got my magic back, so don’t worry about it.” And he looks so sure of himself that it convinces Riku enough that maybe the situation isn’t completely lost and maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to at least humor the brunet teen a little.
“Okay,” Riku replies, and he can’t keep the smile from his face, so he ducks his head a little when Sora helps him back up to a little spot between the rocks that’s the perfect size for a campfire and a tent. Sora sets Riku down to sit with his back leaning against some of the rocks, starts the campfire, and gets the things to set the tent up when Riku stops him. “…Hey, Sora?” The brunet pauses.
“Yeah, what is it?” Sora asks with a concerned face, holding the tent poles under one of his arms.
“Can you just set up the sleeping bags? I want to see the stars.” It’s dark and very overcast here, but Riku hopes that the stars might be visible for a little while if some of the clouds move.
“…Okay,” Sora responds, and just sets up the sleeping bags before going over to where Riku’s sitting, to look at his side. He helps Riku out of his vest and then unzips Riku’s shirt to look at his left side. Reaching out a hand tentatively, he skims his fingers over the wound, trying his best to trace but not touch it too much. Riku feels Sora’s fingers travel from under his stomach, level with his navel, around his still-bloody side, and then to his back, stopping just a few inches from his spine, seeing Sora’s eyes getting just a fraction wider the further his fingers go.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Riku lies again. “It doesn’t even hurt that much.” And Riku’s built up an immunity to pain, so he can still carry on a conversation with a relatively straight face instead of passing out like what most people would probably do by now.
“…Lemme go get a towel to clean this up a little,” Sora responds, fingers red, getting up to take his gloves off and dip a cloth into the pot of water he was boiling earlier when he first set up the campfire. Sora’s worried now, Riku can tell, but he just crosses his mental fingers and hopes that Sora’ll be able to do something, at least, even if it’s just to cut down the pain a little. When Sora comes to kneel back down beside where Riku’s sitting – sans gloves and with the warm, damp cloth – he slowly reaches to wipe away the blood, dirt, and sand that’s stuck to Riku’s skin. Riku can’t stop himself from inhaling sharply when the cloth touches his side, and Sora sees it before he has time to put a neutral expression back on his face. “Oh, does that sting really bad?”
“It’s okay,” Riku replies, voice tight, “just keep going.” Sora holds Riku’s hand with the free one that isn’t using the cloth, and then gives it a good squeeze when Riku instinctively grips it tightly. Slowly, the extra grime comes off and they can both see – Sora a little more so from his angle – the real extent of the damage. It’s… deeper than Riku thought it was, especially in the center of the wound. “It’ll be fine, Sora.” Riku tries to sound reassuring, but Sora still looks kind of upset. So, next strategy: distraction. “You said you’ve got your magic back, right?” he asks. Sora brings his gaze up from Riku’s side to his face. “So let’s try that, okay?” And there’s Sora’s assurance coming back, so Riku counts that as a success.
“Right,” Sora says; he lets go of Riku’s hand with one more squeeze and drops the cloth to stand up and call his Keyblade to his hand. Pointing the tip of the Keyblade at Riku’s side, he closes his eyes and chants the cure spell. Riku’s too busy looking at Sora to watch his side, but he feels the spell start to work and sees the green glow out of the corner of one eye. With an exhale, Sora opens his eyes and dismisses the Keyblade to kneel and inspect Riku’s side again.
“It worked a little, I think,” Riku says. And Sora’s spell healed the worst of the damage near the center, but somehow failed to cure it completely or seal the skin.
“I gotta wait a while before I can do that again,” Sora explains, looking at Riku, then moves his gaze back down to Riku’s side. “Usually, it does more than that…” Riku finds Sora’s hand again.
“It’s fine,” he says, and that makes Sora smile again, but then they both watch as Riku’s side does the unexpected and slowly unknits itself again.
“That’s never happened before,” Sora frowns. “I don’t know what’s going on.” He stands up again. “Let me try it one more time.” And it seems to work again, but not a minute later, Riku watches Sora’s frown creep back as the magic once more undoes itself. “O-one more time.” Sora tries a third time, and an expression of dismay crosses his face when the same thing happens, quickly followed by a determined one.
“One more time,” Sora says again, gaze resolute, starting to stand up again a fourth time, but Riku pulls him back down. The brunet’s starting to look tired, everywhere except his eyes, which look stubbornly at Riku.
“Hey, Sora, let’s try something else,” he suggests. “You’re gonna wear yourself out like this.” And Sora’s got a stubborn line in his mouth, too, but then glances down at Riku’s side and seems to agree.
“…Okay,” Sora sighs. “Lemme go get the Potions and stuff.” He rummages around in the supplies by the campfire and pulls out some bottles, then walks back to where Riku’s still propped up against the rocks. “There’s three Elixirs that come with each tent,” Sora explains, “and I don’t need any, so you can have those three. I’ve got a couple Hi-Potions and another Elixir in my pockets.” And Riku reminds himself that Sora’s wearing magical clothes. “What’ve you got left?”
“I’ve got a Hi-Potion and can conjure a Potion,” Riku replies, “but then I’m out of magic for a while.” Sora looks thoughtful. “And I don’t think I should go three in a row like you just did, so let’s just use what we’ve got right now.” Sora smiles a little sheepishly at that last comment, but nods and looks decisive again.
“Alright, let’s start with an Elixir,” Sora pronounces, and uncorks one and hands it to Riku. Riku drinks it and then looks at Sora looking at his side. It seems to work at first, but then Riku feels his skin unknit again and sees Sora’s face try not to fall.
“I’ve got the rest of my magic back, at least,” Riku says, because he feels worse about Sora being disappointed than he does about his side. But then Sora peers directly at the wound for a few seconds, after which a look of triumph appears on his face.
“I’ve got it!” Sora says, reaching for another Elixir.
“What is it?” Riku asks. But Sora’s already uncorked the Elixir and instead of handing it to Riku for him to drink is using his fingers to rub it directly onto Riku’s side. It’s… partly a weird sensation, since the Elixir is cool to the touch and slightly tingling, but Sora’s fingers are warm and softly moving across his skin, and Riku really tries to keep his breathing at the normal pace for someone who should probably not be smiling as much as he wants to. “Oh, it’s… is it actually working?” he asks again because he can’t think of anything else intelligent to say right now.
“Yeah,” Sora responds, pausing slightly to get more of the Elixir onto Riku’s side, “there was this red stuff in there. I couldn’t tell earlier because I thought it was just blood, but it was trying to eat your skin, I think.” That sounds unpleasant, but Riku just nods because Sora’s still got his fingers all over Riku’s side. “Doing it this way seems to be getting rid of that stuff, though.” Riku lets himself relax a little against the rocks, and Sora gives him a brief smile before focusing his attention onto Riku’s side again. “Yeah, I think we got it,” Sora repeats, and Riku lets himself smile a bit in return because Sora’s confidence in Riku’s recovery seems to have come back in full force.
“That’s good,” Riku murmurs, and contents himself with Sora’s optimism and Sora’s fingers until they’re done with the rest of the bottle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“…Oh, is that bottle done?” Riku asks, a little delayed, after Sora’s finished putting a second round of Elixir onto Riku’s side. Looking up from his work, Sora notices that Riku’s leaning back a little more on the rocks behind him and that he’s blinking a little slowly, maybe like he’s been dozing off a little. Sora’s been putting most of his effort into making sure that the Elixirs are getting used efficiently and that Riku’s getting better as fast as possible, so he hasn’t really noticed if Riku’s been getting drowsy or not.
“Yeah,” Sora replies, “but I’m not done closing up your side yet.” They’ve still got one Elixir and a couple Hi-Potions left before Riku has to conjure any of the regular Potions, so Sora’s confident that they’ll be able to finish without Riku using up too much of his energy.
“Just bandage it for now;” Riku says, still blinking but smiling at Sora a little lazily, “we can finish tomorrow.” And Riku does look kind of sleepy, so maybe that’s a good idea.
“Oh, you’re probably tired, aren’t you?” Sora asks, but that just makes Riku smile a little wider. Well, that’s definitely a good thing, so it’s nice to know that Riku’s not annoyed at him for keeping him up.
“It’s okay,” Riku responds, and then his smile turns more playful. “We got a lot of things done today, didn’t we?” And now Riku’s just teasing, so he can’t be that tir- …Oh right, they saved the worlds. Sora’d been paying so much attention to trying to get Riku to heal that he’d almost forgotten about that.
“Yeah, we did,” Sora agrees, grinning. “Let me go find some bandages and then I’ll help you to your sleeping bag.”
“It’s not that deep of a cut now,” Riku points out, but he’s still smiling, so Sora figures that means he’s not going to object to the help. A short while later, and Riku’s been bandaged and moved to his sleeping bag, lying on his right side and watching Sora rearrange his own bag just a few feet away with a small, contented smile he probably doesn’t even know he still has on. Sora’s about to settle down himself, but then sneaks a glance at Riku and contemplates things. After a moment of thought, he picks up his sleeping bag and moves it so that it’s right next to Riku’s. Riku seems surprised by this and blinks once, but he doesn’t say anything, just looks at Sora in silent, curious question.
“…Well, it’s probably going to get cold at night here, and I need to make sure that your side’s okay,” Sora explains, after a beat. And that’s a very flimsy excuse, but Riku just shrugs from where he is and lets Sora settle down next to him. Truthfully, Sora still can’t shake the feeling that Riku might just disappear or run off somewhere again if Sora doesn’t keep an eye on him, and Sora really doesn’t want that to happen, so he’s going to do everything he can to keep Riku as close as possible, temporary embarrassment or not.
Riku laughs softly when Sora scoots closer, but it’s a warm, friendly laugh with a subtle undertone to it that Sora can’t quite place just yet. And Sora realizes belatedly that there’s probably not much of a difference between night and day here, but huddles a little against Riku like he’s cold anyway. There’re a few seconds where Sora debates what to do with his arm, but his thought process is interrupted with the light brush against his forehead by what he realizes are Riku’s lips. Tilting his head to look up at Riku, the older teen doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, just has that small, contented, subtle smile on again, and Sora doesn’t know what to think about that because there are suddenly about a billion butterflies in his stomach that came from out of who-knows-where. Sora has no idea what all this is supposed to mean, and in the stillness, Riku doesn’t seem like he’s going to explain.
“Goodnight,” Riku says eventually, quiet, almost like a whisper, and with just a little bit of caution that he’s probably trying to hide. The butterflies are doing acrobatic butterfly somersaults, and Sora doesn’t know why Riku would have a reason to be cautious because he can’t possibly be as nervous or confused as Sora is right now.
“G’night,” Sora somehow manages to respond, his own voice gone mysteriously quiet as well, and he ducks his head under Riku’s chin relatively quickly. His insides are the butterfly Olympics when he decides that maybe Riku won’t chop his arm off if he puts it around the older teen’s waist, carefully avoiding the bandaged area, which causes Riku to hum under his breath once and do the same with his own arm and Sora’s waist. And that’s kind of nice, actually, so Sora lets himself relax, save thinking about things until tomorrow, and drift off to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next day, after Sora’s made a light breakfast from some of the food that came with the tent, the two of them move back to the rocks they were at yesterday, with Riku propped sitting up and Sora keeling beside him. Riku’s side doesn’t really hurt that much anymore, or at least not as much as it did yesterday, but he’s surprised to see, after Sora unwraps the bandages, that the wound’s gotten a little worse again.
“I think we need to heal it all the way, Riku,” Sora says, “or it’s just going to keep coming back.” He’s got a little almost-frown on again, and one of his hands is reaching for the last Elixir, but the other one’s running absently on Riku’s side, fingertips lightly tracing the outline of the wound. Riku resists the urge to move his side closer to Sora’s fingers.
“Alright,” Riku replies, in the few moments Sora moves his fingers away to uncork the Elixir, but then loses the ability to speak coherently once Sora’s now Elixir-covered fingers are back on his side. And he thinks that Sora’s gotten pretty good at this whole fix-Riku’s-side business because it honestly doesn’t even hurt anymore and the Elixir-covered fingers on his side are both warm and cool in a way that makes Riku wish a little that they could just stay like this forever. The last of the Elixir gets Riku’s side to better than where they ended the night before, and the first Hi-Potion reduces the wound to a long, shallow cut. What’s different from usual is that while the next-to-last Hi-Potion seals the cut completely, it leaves a line of white scar tissue wrapped around Riku’s side afterwards.
“Okay, let me get the other Hi-Potion,” Sora says. “That should finish things up.” But looking down at his side, Riku wonders if maybe they shouldn’t do that. It’s not a normal sort of wound, like all of the hundreds Sora and him have gotten over the course of their journeys that’ve been easily healed with a cure spell or Potion, so… it’s important to remember. There’s no way that Riku could – or should, for that matter – forget the things that happened, even if he’s still in the process of defining exactly what it all means, so if this is the way he ends up reminding himself, then that’s fine.
“…No, you don’t have to,” he says, reaching to grab Sora’s hand that was moving towards the bottle. “It’s okay like this.” Sora looks up at his face, attention no longer on his side or the bottle of Hi-Potion, somewhere between confused and concerned.
“But Riku, your-”
“It’s fine, I don’t mind it,” he replies gently, smiling and hoping that he sounds reassuring. Sora reaches with the hand that Riku’s not holding and slowly traces the line from Riku’s abdomen to his back and then again in the other direction to his starting point, eyes following his fingers.
“…Are you sure?” Sora asks quietly when he’s done, looking with a serious expression back up at Riku’s face, and Riku wonders when they started talking in hushed voices again.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Riku smiles, with a light squeeze to Sora’s hand, and that seems to satisfy the brunet because his expression clears up and he smiles back at Riku, not one of his exuberant grins but a relatively smaller, quieter one. “…I don’t regret it, you know,” he finds himself saying. And it’s true; he didn’t even waste time thinking about what to do, just acted on instinct because Sora needs help and I need to make sure Sora’s okay and nothing else mattered after that. This comment seems to surprise Sora a little because his eyes get wide, focusing intently on Riku now, and his mouth opens slightly.
“…Oh,” Sora says, after a beat. He blinks slowly, like he’s just thought of something, but doesn’t say anything else, and Riku’s not really sure what’s going through the brunet’s head right now.
“What is it, Sora?” Did he say too much? Did Sora not want Riku to do that for him?
“…Oh, it’s just,” Sora responds slowly, like he’s still thinking of something, “that’s the same thing Axel said.” He pauses momentarily. “Before he died.” Oh, that is a good reason to pause for thought, isn’t it? Riku doesn’t yet know what to think of Sora comparing him to Axel, but holds off saying anything himself because Sora doesn’t look like he’s done talking yet. “I was with Donald and Goofy, and we were trying to get through a corridor to the World That Never Was, but it was all blocked and there were Nobodies everywhere. So Axel kind of…” Sora pauses again for a second, looking back down at Riku’s side, “…set himself on fire and exploded himself so we could get through.” Then, Sora falls silent.
“…I didn’t know about that,” Riku comments, a little subdued. It… doesn’t seem like a surprising thing for the redheaded Nobody to do, actually, once he thinks about it. And Riku really wants to thank Axel for doing that, suddenly, and is disappointed that he can’t.
“Yeah, he said that he did it because he wanted to see Roxas again,” Sora continues. Riku thinks about Roxas for a moment and hopes that he’s happy with Sora, that maybe if Sora isn’t mad at Riku anymore, then Roxas isn’t either. But then Sora starts talking again, so Riku decides to put off thinking about Roxas until some other time. “Because he said he was in love with Roxas. He said that me and Roxas made him feel like he had a heart.” Axel being in love with Roxas isn’t surprising, either, but did that mean that Axel was in love with Sora, too? Riku’s not sure what his feelings are about that, but Sora starts to run his fingers over Riku’s side once more, and then the thought leaves his head. Sora frowns again.
“And then we were fighting,” Sora says, “and then you got hurt because of me, and…” the brunet blinks a few times, “…and I was really worried that the same thing was going to happen with you like what happened with Axel, and…” his breath hitches, “…and I really…” he trails off, mouth in an agitated downturn and fingers still moving back and forth across Riku’s side.
“Hey, Sora, it’s okay,” Riku murmurs. “I’m here now, so…” Sora looks back up at him and his hand stills to rest warm on Riku’s side, and Riku is at once very aware of how close they actually are to each other, but wills himself to continue because he can’tstand seeing Sora upset because of something he did, “…so please don’t be sad about it, okay?” There’re a few, long moments where they just look at each other in the silence, and Riku doesn’t break the hush that’s fallen over them because Sora looks like he wants to say something, and in a strange sort of anticipation, Riku both does and doesn’t know what it is.
“Riku,” Sora asks slowly, eyes calm and focused on Riku’s face, “are you in love with me?” For a few seconds, Riku doesn’t move, doesn’t even breathe, but he eventually does the only thing he can do.
“Yes,” he whispers. Sora doesn’t seem surprised.
“Oh,” Sora responds, “I thought you were.” Is that… Riku can’t tell if Sora means it as a good thing or a bad one, but the brunet’s momentary biting of his lip doesn’t give Riku any hints. “For how long?” he asks next, and his hand is still resting on Riku’s side and his other one is still holding onto Riku’s.
“Always,” Riku hears himself say, voice hoarse for reasons he can’t explain. This answer seems to surprise Sora a little, at least, but he doesn’t say anything in response to that. And then Sora keeps not saying anything, and Riku just feels more and more awful the longer time drags on. Because Sora is still just as much in love with Kairi as he was when Riku saw their reunion in the World That Never Was, Riku was an idiot for thinking that admitting this to Sora would end well, and now he has to say something, anything to not ruin again what they just spent the past two days carefully putting back together. “Sora, I-” And Riku’s voice sounds even more hoarse in his ears than it did before, and the thought of having to deny what he just said is probably the worst thing in the world right now, but Sora suddenly raises the hand that’s still holding onto Riku’s and places it in front of Riku’s mouth.
“Wait,” Sora says, and Riku closes his mouth again; Sora lets their hands slowly fall to rest on Riku’s leg. “Just… don’t take that back, it’s okay, I…” But Riku doesn’t really think that there’s anything Sora could possibly say to make the situation any less horrible than it is right now. “…I didn’t realize it for the longest time myself,” Sora explains, darting a glance back down, then bringing it up quickly to look intently into Riku’s eyes, “but it’s okay because I think I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.” Riku isn’t sure at this point if he’s started breathing again yet because he’s so focused on Sora that there isn’t a single other thought in his head besides the words Sora’s just said. “So it’s okay, right?” Riku thinks his vocal cords stopped working properly a while ago.
“…Sora?” he asks, hesitantly, and he doesn’t know why he can’t spit out more than one word at a time. Sora, though, finally smiles again and, leaning forward just slightly, lightly presses his lips against Riku’s own. They stay like that for a little, and when Sora moves back, Riku opens his eyes again to see that the brunet’s still smiling, just the faintest hint of nervousness around the edges but happy in a way that seems to be contagious.
“Okay?” Sora asks one more time.
“Yeah,” Riku replies, smiling a bit himself, and this time when Sora leans forward, Riku meets him halfway.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sora realizes that he’s not really sure how it’s supposed to work with two guys, but Riku just kisses the corner of his mouth with his lips curved upwards, conjures a Potion, pulls Sora forward to rest on top of him, and slowly begins to use the Potion bottle’s contents on himself – and how is it that Riku always knows what to do? – so he figures that everything’s going to turn out alright, after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some time later, Riku and Sora are sitting back by the water, in shorts and pants again but bare shoulders touching and fingers entwined, and when the breeze starts up again, it moves some of the clouds away and opens up a patch of stars.
“Hey, Sora,” Riku says, nudging the brunet and pointing upwards, “the stars are out.” Somewhat distracted by the way Sora’s face breaks out into a grin, he fails to notice when the owner of that grin reaches to pull Riku down so that they’re both laying on the sand looking up at the group of stars Riku pointed out. Still, he can’t help but let out a little laugh. “H-hey, what is it?”
“There’s something I want you to see,” Sora replies, gaze searching upwards for… something. “You’ll be able to see it if those clouds over there move.” And he points to a group of clouds to their left with the hand that’s not holding onto Riku’s, that anticipated expression clear on his face. “Come on…” he mutters, scooting close to Riku again.
“What are we looking for?” Riku asks, turning his head to look at Sora, curious at what’s got the brunet so excited.
“You’ll see,” Sora just says in response, still looking upwards. “Just a little more…” He seems to be holding his breath almost, squeezing Riku’s hand tightly when the breeze moves the clouds again, further expanding the clear area. “Just a- there!” Sora points eagerly at some of the stars, “Right there, there it is!” Riku can’t really tell at first what exactly Sora’s pointing at because he’s not keeping his hand still, but it seems to be a particular cluster of stars.
“Sora, you’re moving your arm all over the place,” Riku says, “I can’t tell what you’re pointing at.” He really wants to know what Sora’s gotten so worked up over, too.
“It’s… okay, there’s the top,” Sora starts to trace an outline of a figure, “and then it goes this way, and then down, and then that’s the bottom…” The figure slowly takes shape, and Riku feels his jaw start to drop open. “…And then it goes back up this way, and then it’s kind of squiggly there, and then it goes that way back up to the top again.”
Sora’s got his own constellation now. Wow.
“…Wow,” Riku says, a little breathless if he admitted that to himself. Sora’s probably grinning again, but Riku’s eyes are fixed on the spot the brunet’s been pointing to. “That’s really…?”
“Yeah,” Sora replies, almost sounding a fraction breathless himself, “And that’s Goofy off to the left and Donald to the right.” He keeps going, and Riku just finds himself nodding slowly along. “It was when we were in Olympus Coliseum last time, and Phil said he thought that we were still just junior heroes instead of the regular kind, but apparently the gods there decided differently.” And Sora says regular like all this is normal for him, and… Riku realizes that it probably is, and that’s kind of amazing, too. “So…” Sora nudges him with his shoulder, and Riku turns his gaze away from the constellation to look at the genuine article, “pretty cool, huh?” He’s got this infectious grin on again, so Riku tilts his head to kiss it lightly.
“Definitely cool,” he agrees, and Sora laughs. And because Riku is a teenage boy and because Sora is a teenage boy as well, it’s really not long before the one kiss turns into two kisses, which in turn soon progress into a moderately sandy makeout session on the beach. And Sora’s still got all this seemingly boundless energy from showing Riku that constellation, so Riku lets Sora lead him back to the sleeping bags and they continue from there.
“Hey, Riku,” Sora says a few minutes later, breathless again and tugging at Riku’s jeans with one hand, the other pressed against the small of Riku’s back. Riku lifts his head up from where he’d been busy trying to find some more of the sensitive spots on Sora’s collarbone to look at the brunet’s slightly nervous face.
“Yeah?” Riku asks, but Sora’s still tugging at his jeans, so it sounds a bit more likemmyah? than a coherent word.
“I was wondering if…” Riku runs a hand down Sora’s arm in what he hopes is an encouraging manner. “Well, I was thinking about it, and…” And Sora’s started to unzip Riku’s jeans now, so that’s not exactly making it easy for Riku to follow what he’s saying.
“What is it, Sora?” he murmurs, placing a kiss on Sora’s temple and then slowly moving to the brunet’s earlobe. Sora flushes slightly, but then continues his semi-rambling question.
“I wanted to know if we could…” and Sora’s definitely blushing by now, but keeps going, “…I mean, I want to try it the other way around this time.” Riku slowly brings his mouth away from Sora’s ear so he can look at him better; Sora’s still nervous, sure, but he’s got that determined look in his eyes again. “Because I really liked how it was last time,” and now he’s got a finger running along the top line of Riku’s boxers, which is driving Riku slightly crazy, but he probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it, “but I-I want you to do it this time.” Riku suddenly feels a little nervous himself.
“Sora, I…” He gradually covers the hand running along his boxers with his own and pauses its motion because that’s making it very difficult to think and he doesn’t know what to say to not make Sora upset at him.
“I really want you to,” Sora repeats, in a quiet voice, looking up at him solemnly, and he’s getting upset anyway because Riku’s not very good at hiding his hesitation.
“…I don’t want to hurt you,” Riku mumbles eventually, looking down because it’s kind of painful to see Sora’s face when he knows it’s his fault the brunet’s feeling so upset, and his voice has gone to a whisper, like maybe if he says it quietly enough, Sora might not hear it.
“Riku, you-” Sora starts to protest, the hand covered by Riku’s twitching once slightly. But then he stops himself and takes a breath, using his other hand to lift Riku’s chin so they’re looking at each other and beginning again in a much calmer tone. “Riku.” And he’s got his determined face on again, but it’s gentle, not stubborn. “You’re not going to hurt me.” Riku himself wants to look away, but can’t bring himself to jostle Sora’s hand; he wants to voice his doubt and disagreement, but the words die somewhere in his throat and refuse to leave his mouth.
“So-” he pleads because he really can’t say anything else right now.
“Riku,” Sora repeats, eyes steady and confident and at least a dozen other things Riku still half-wishes he could be more like. “You’re not going to hurt me.” And he kisses Riku firmly, deepens it when Riku begins his hesitant response, moves Riku’s hand to undo his shorts when it slackens the grip it’d had on Sora’s. “It’s okay,” Sora says with an easy smile, looking up at Riku once he’s coaxed them horizontal, a hand on Riku’s cheek and eyes bluer than Riku’s ever seen them, “I trust you.” It’s soeffortless, the way he says it.
Riku goes into an absolute standstill. He doesn’t do a single thing besides look at Sora in that moment, at Sora looking at him with complete certainty; he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t think anything, just lets Sora’s words sink into him for one long, sustained second. And then he takes a stuttering inhale, and has to duck his head into the crook of Sora’s neck when time starts flowing normally again because he thinks he’s been waiting his whole life and more for this and everything inside of him is pulling him towards Sora at an incomprehensible pace and he has to divert it somehow, or Sora is never going to say something like that ever again.
“Thank you,” he whispers, throat choked, barely able to hear his own words over the thumping in his ears. I love you, he mouths into the juncture where Sora’s neck meets his collarbone. But Sora wraps his arms tight around him, so Riku’s glad to know he got both messages.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sora skinnydips in the ocean, looks over at Riku sitting in about five inches of water, just as unclothed, leaning back on his hands and just… smiling at him. He smiles back at Riku, wades over to plop himself down between Riku’s legs, and wraps his arms around Riku’s neck when Riku leans forward to kiss him because this thing is a good thing and there’s not much else that has to be said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few days and a long while later, Riku feels a glass bottle bump up against his shoe. He uncorks it and hands Sora his letter.
“We’ll go together.”
“Yeah.”
